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A piercing cold engulfed my body, and shivers ratcheted me to my bones.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Why couldn’t I get myself under control?
I had to get myself under control. Panicking led to mistakes.
Think, Nerine.
After a few seconds, I decided I had no choice but to shift his body. Using my shoulder I pushed Andraius just enough to reveal his hand with the blade. With the hem of my robe, I pulled the weapon from Andraius’s fingers, and as thoroughly as possible, I wiped the handle. Then using the robe as a barrier, I wrapped Andraius’s hand around the hilt and set him back.
Okay. Okay. I’d managed that without making a mess. Well, a bigger mess.
My attention shifted to the clock. Five minutes since the last time I looked.
Tick, tick, tick.
The echo of the gears moving rang in my ear, causing my headache to intensify and nausea to build in the pit of my stomach.
Scanning the room, I searched for anything that pointed to my presence. As far as the household knew, I’d gone to bed.
No one dared enter the library without my permission. Every Angelos family member, soldier, and employee knew this was my sanctuary, and out of respect for me, they kept it off-limits to everyone. I spent hours here at a time, writing, reading, and trying to study everything that was denied to me when Andraius had forced me to withdraw from college following his ascent to the head of the family after our marriage and after he murdered Papa.
My blankets and sweater sat in the exact spot where I’d left them earlier in the afternoon. The room sat almost the same.
Well, except for the dead man face down on the carpet.
I tugged my robe off and cleaned my arms of any remaining blood with quick, efficient movements. Then, I picked up anything that could remotely make it seem as if I’d been in here—my slippers, my book, and my shawl—and placed them in my dressing gown, tying it closed with the silk belt.
I’d never know how we managed not to knock any furniture over or alert the guards.
Luck, maybe?
One thing I knew for sure was that he hadn’t expected anyone in here tonight. The surprise and then rage that flashed on his face told me he planned to search the room for something.
What? I hadn’t a clue.
It no longer mattered. Now I’d take the same passageways I’d used to enter the library to guide me back to my bedroom, where I’d pretend nothing happened.
With one last shaky breath, I clutched the robe satchel to my chest, stepped around Andraius, and headed toward the passageway entrance.
I couldn’t help but sigh in relief when I saw the slightly ajar wall panel. I’d never been so glad I’d left the hinge open in my life. Usually, I’d go out of my way to ensure I secured it. Only a handful of people knew of the secret hallways in the house, and Andraius and those loyal to him weren’t part of that group.
Stepping inside, I rushed through the corridors, up a flight of stairs, and through a narrow walkway to a flat wall outside my bedroom. With a tap of my heel to a groove at the bottom, the panel slid to the side. I rushed inside, paused for a brief second to ensure the wall was sealed shut, and then moved to the bathroom.
The need to wash away the filth of Andraius’s blood from my body surged through me.
I had to get clean. There was no choice but to get clean.
I pulled open the shower door and stepped inside, clothes and makeshift satchel included.
I barely registered the ice-cold spray touching my skin before it adjusted to a tolerable warm temperature. All I knew was I had to wash the devil off me.
But instead of following through on my intentions, I slid to the floor and braced my back against the tiled wall.
The pounding inside my skull intensified, and thoughts upon thoughts whirled in my brain.
“Would anyone believe me if I were to tell the whole truth?” I whispered into the silence of the room. I hesitated for a moment as my body trembled with fear. My heart raced, trying to answer the question: would I be strong enough to reveal the truth, no matter the consequences? In the end, I just wasn’t sure.
