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“My job is to take care of you, even if you don’t want it.”
I smirked, not caring about the consequence. Maybe it was the anger riding me at how my life had turned out, or perhaps the arousal coursing through me and the unquenched need I’d felt since these two men walked back into my daily life.
I wanted them to understand taking care of me had nothing to do with my safety.
Safety sat in one realm and care lived in another.
“I haven’t had anyone take care of me since before this nightmare began. I handle my own care and needs.” I lifted a brow and pursed my lips.
Xander’s mouth quirked at the side, catching my meaning, and his pupils dilated into near-black orbs. “Exactly what are your needs, and how do you care for them?”
The hunger in his voice broke the dam on everything I’d shoved away. A throbbing ignited deep in my core, and my nipples hardened.
“Xander, this isn’t where we need to go,” Theo warned.
Theo’s words said one thing, but as he studied me, the burning heat in his eyes told a completely different story of what he desired.
“Oh no, he wanted to go here. Let’s go here.”
I knew I played a reckless game with the two most dangerous men I knew. The two men who could ruin me. The two men whom I could destroy.
But I couldn’t stop this pull toward them. It drew me. Why couldn’t I reach for it? Andraius flaunted his shit all over the place. Why not me?
“Okay then, Angel. Answer the question.” Xander picked up a decanter of some dark amber liquid, poured some into a tumbler, and then took a healthy swallow before relaxing into his seat.
“I want to come. That’s what I need.”
Lust engulfed the cab of the limo, and our breaths grew unsteady.
The throbbing deep in my pussy pushed my desire to an unbearable level, and seeing the hard bulges in their pants pulled at that longing for everything I couldn’t have.
I sighed. “Care to guess how long it’s been since anyone has held me or touched me to give me pleasure?”
I held their gazes.
Yes, this was reckless. Yes, this was wrong. Everything in my life was wrong.
More than likely, I wouldn’t be alive tomorrow, anyway. Andraius would never let me leave him.
Theo gripped the edge of his seat. “We can’t touch you, Nerine. No matter how much we want to.”
Xander added, “We love you too much to make your life harder.”
Did they love me?
Then why had they stayed away? Why not let me know they were still around to give me hope?
My lips trembled, and I shook my head. I would not cry. Tears had no place in my life. “Answer this for me. Why don’t I get anything? When will I stop being a pawn in this game?”
“You’re not the pawn. You’re the queen. We’d give you everything you need if it were in our power.”
“What I need right now is one fucking orgasm. Is that too much to ask?” I wasn’t expecting an answer from either of them, so I continued, “Nearly five years since I felt anything in the realm of desire. I’ve been with three men in my life. You two and Andraius.”
I looked down at my clenched fists sitting in my lap. “He enjoyed seeing me cry. It made him feel as if he’d won. Want to know what I did within months of our marriage?” I smirked. “I learned to give him no emotion at all. You’ve heard him say I’m an unemotional, cold bitch. It’s better to freeze my soul than constantly see the glee on that monster’s face. But you know what?”
After a few long heartbeats, Theo asked, “What?”
I dropped my head back on the seat, not wanting to see either of their faces. “I mourn that girl who felt so much, laughed, loved, and enjoyed life. I was so damn strong, and no one could make me believe otherwise. I miss that girl. I’m tired of playing the cold, bitter bitch. I am tired of feeling dead inside. What I wouldn’t give to feel again, to be her again, if only for a few moments. I’m exhausted from fighting all the time. The old Nerine fought, but she never sold her soul to do it.”
