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Anyway, we’re here now. We’re at some state park. It’s slightly on the cool side, with a breeze, which is perfect hiking weather. I tend to overheat easily enough, which is my justification to not wear clothes at home. Also, I have very, very sensitive skin, okay? Also, I like being naked. But I’m appropriately dressed now, in waterproof boots, my favorite hiking pants, and a purple t-shirt with a unicorn on it. Because I’m an adult, damnit. I’ve also tucked my “travel stuffy” into my jacket.
There is nobody around this morning. The sun is rising over the horizon, and birds greet the dawn. We’re in this idyllic wonderland, traversing down a stream and a rocky path. I balance delicately on a log to get over the deeper part of the water, and he holds my hand. I jump from one path stone to the next, all partially submerged in the water.
We reach the winding path to a lovely waterfall at the end. “There’s nobody here,” he says. Of course not, it’s not even seven o’clock. What idiots besides us would be here? “Take it off.” Take what off? I blink at him, thinking maybe I still need to wake up.
“Take your clothes off.”
I drop my clothes onto the large rocks in front of the falls. He directs me to stand just beneath the recently melted snowfall, as it runs down the cliff above us. My skin is taut and my eyes are closed. I open them to see him standing just in front of me. He snaps picture after picture and I try to imagine myself as a famous model. I swish my hair, seductively I hope, under the falls. Then I kneel and arch my back until my hair falls on the ground. I spread myself out as wide as I can, until I can’t take it anymore and burst out laughing. My laughter echos in the canyon, and his eyes laugh back at me.
I wish Laura was here to join in this magical moment. Or Dee. I haven’t really spoken with her in months. But both of them are far away in California right now.
* * *
June 28, 09:30am
I wakeup and I’m not feeling well. “Do you want to suspend dynamics today?”
“I—“ and I stop. I was going to say yes, but, no. Damnit, I’m in this! I don’t want to just stop because I’ve got a sore throat. I want him to be a little more patient with me today, yes, but I don’t want to not be his kitten. Hmmm, but it is possible that yesterday’s freezing cold photoshoot might be responsible for my current state. Worth it.
But I refocus myself back to his question. I am honestly a little saddened at the implications behind it. As if Daddies cannot be a daddy and take care of their babygirl when she’s sick with a fever or extra tired, or just feeling a little low that day. Well, but he’s not my Daddy. No, that doesn’t feel right at all. Sir? Master? He’s certainly my dominant. Which makes me his submissive. And a dominant, I believe, is still responsible for his submissive even when he’s sick. So that means if I’m sick, I can still serve him.
“No, if I’m in this, I want to be in it. I just want to be yours. No matter what. I’m tired of falling through on things, because I have no discipline. Make me do this for you, always, please. But, please can I stay in bed and can you bring me some chicken soup?”
He smiles, pleased. Being my dominant, no, in our world, from this point on means he cares for me when I need it. Being a submissive to him means respecting him, even when he’s low on energy.
“I think I might join you in bed,” he says. “You know, because I have a little headache, too. Maybe even a fever.” He frowns.
I perk up. “Do you want me to check you with the thingie?”
“No.” He answers with far too much authority in his tone.
“I didn’t even say what the thingie was!” I pout.
“Just in case, I think I should err on the safe side.”
Hmph. He didn’t even know what I was going to stick in him. It’s like he has no faith in me.
I fall back into my head. He’s still a good dominant to me, even if I can’t randomly poke him with objects. A dominant is still a dominant -even- when they serve their submissive. A submissive is still submissive -even- when being served.
Whatever my physical condition, I am always his most precious object. If he’s having a rough day, it’s my job to be patient and realize we might not be going to the dungeon that evening. Or even doing anything at all. It doesn’t mean we’ve “lost” our dynamic. It just means that, today, this is what it looks like.
In sickness, and in health.
* * *
July 11, 08:30am
Ooooh,Laura is coming back this morning! It’s been far, far too long since we’ve seen each other. OK, it’s been three weeks. I’m so terrible at planning dates. Hopefully she has something in mind.
10:00am
That’s odd. Says her flight landed, but I’ve heard nothing from her.
10:30am
I better text her.
11:00am
