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Hell,Ididn’t even know what was going through my brain.
“He makes you feel things, doesn’t he?”
“It sounds crazy. I know next to nothing about him.”
“You don’t have to know his full history to have chemistry. And based on what I saw the other night in the hospital room, the two of you had it in spades. He could barely take his eyes off you.” She leaned closer. “And don’t forget the lengths he went to in order to keep you safe. He snapped a guy’s neck, for crying out loud. He could have been arrested if the detective hadn’t decided against pressing charges. That’s worth a thank-you fuck, if you ask me.”
I nearly choked on my champagne. “Jesus, Mel. Warn me before you say something like that.”
She shrugged. “At this point, you should be used to it. I don’t have much of a brain-to-mouth filter.”
“It’s one of the things I love about you. But I’m not going to…have sex with him as a thank you for saving my life.”
“Then have sex with him for you. I’m sure you’ve thought about it.”
She was right. Ihadthought about what it might be like to be with Gideon. Probablytoomuch. The feel of his arms around me. The heat of his breath. The roughness of his unshaven jawline against my skin.
But I wasn’t sure I was ready to go there with another person. It was one thing to sleep with Liam. There was no spark. No connection.
Gideon was different.
“I just…” I pushed out a breath. “I can’t.”
“Why?” Melanie pressed. “And I swear to god, if you bring up Liam again, I’m going to scream. I adore him. And you. But you know how I feel about the idea of the two of you.” She gave me a knowing look, her disapproval evident. “I still think he took advantage of you after Sam died.”
“He didn’t know about Samuel,” I reminded her. “Still doesn’t. You’re the only one who knew the truth about our relationship.”
“Even so, it was obvious you were hurting after his death. I get wanting to offer you comfort. But there’s a way to do that without taking advantage of you, like Liam did.”
I understood why she might have felt that way. But Iwasa willing participant.
Was it unhealthy? Absolutely.
But on those days when I didn’t think anything would make the hurt of Samuel’s death go away, Liam gave me what I needed. An escape from the crippling void that consumed me.
“We took advantage of each other.”
“Further proof it’s toxic.”
“I knew he was safe. Knew I wouldn’t get attached and end up broken hearted.”
“What about Liam, though?”
“What do you mean?”
She narrowed her gaze on me. “You know how he feels about you.”
“We haven’t hooked up in over a year. We agreed our friendship was too important to ruin.”
“I guarantee he’d drop everything if you told him you changed your mind. If you returned even a fraction of the feelings he’s always had for you.”
“All the more reason I shouldn’t pursue anything with Gideon. I don’t want to hurt Liam.”
“Do you even hear yourself, Ginny? You’ve met a guy you’re interested in for the first time since losing Sam and you’re not going to pursue it because of how Liam might react? Don’t let him manipulate you. Don’t let himcontrolyou.”
“He’s not?—”
“Answer me this,” she interjected. “If Liam weren’t in the picture, what would you do about Gideon? Better yet. What would you have done differently with Sam?”
