Page 117 of I Wish We Had Forever


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“I’ll make it right.” Abel squeezes my neck. “I’m hoping this blast from Sunday supper past will at least get us in the door.”

“Godspeed,” Lu says. “Whether Tuck likes it or not, he’s gonna come around.”

I let out a breath. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“I am. What’s he gonna do, never talk to y’all again?”

Abel shrugs. “He can play that card until we tell him the truth, yeah.”

“The truth.” Lu’s eyes toggle between Abel and me. “Exactly. He’ll come around.”

twenty-eight

. . .

Abel

Faith, Hope, and Love

I wantmy house to smell like this every night.

I want to wrap my arms around my wife and kiss her neck every fucking night.

Do I tell her I love her now? That her arranging this cooking lesson and choosing my favorite supper for us to make is giving me heart palpitations? If I were ten years older, I’d be making a beeline for the hospital. This shit feels like a major cardiac event.

Instead, I gather Jen’s hair and wrap it around my fist, giving it a tug so her mouth is angled up toward mine.

“You sneaky, sneaky girl.”

She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. “The shrimp and grits was a good call, right?”

“Damn right. Very, very delicious.” I kiss her mouth. “Just like you. Thank you for this. I...”Needed it more than I knew.

I need you to stay forever and make this place a home with me.

I’ve lived in my house for close to six months now. But it’s only come alive since Jen and Tai and Cher started living here too. Brings back happy memories of the times I lived with theMonroes. That sense of belonging somewhere. Having rituals, traditions, meals you shared with one another.

I’vemissedthat. So damn much.

Maybe Jen’s missed it too.

How stupid have I been, letting the past keep me apart from her? From this?

How much have I missed out on? How much more will I miss out on if I continue down the path I’m following? Now that I know what I’m missing, it kills me to think I won’t always get to make meals with Jen. I won’t always get to hold her in my kitchen and kiss her like she’s mine.

I can’t let her go. But I also can’t guarantee her the happy ending she’s always wanted.

You can try.

Seems so flimsy, the idea that all I have to do is make one step in a different direction.

Then again, isn’t that what everyone is ultimately doing? Taking one step after another after another in pursuit of dreams they can only hope will come true? Believing in shit they’ve never seen but hope exists? Because none of us gets a guarantee that things will work out. No one knows what the future holds. But I guess some people—people like Jen—believe the good will ultimately outweigh the bad.

I’m keyed up on the drive over to Tuck’s. Jen, too, is quiet, so I grab her hand. I know she’s anxious, but she’s also gotta be wiped. We both are. I’ve never had sex so good my body craves it more than sleep. But thanks to Jen, I’m a walking, talking zombie with a perpetual half-chub.

I don’t hate it. Tuck will, though.

My stomach flips when I see Tuck, Maren, and Katie hanging out on the sidewalk in front of his house. It’s a nice evening, breezy and warm, and they’ve taken advantage of the weather with what appears to be a cute little family outing.

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