AllFreeNovel
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“Mollie.”
“Answer me, woman, or I’m buying a plane ticket so I can apologize in person before I commit you.”
“Fine, there was tongue.” I look out over the restless ocean. The white-yellow sun glints off its surface, hurting my eyes. “It was good, Mollie. So, so good.”
More silence. It goes on for one beat. Then another.
“Hello? Are you alive?”
Mollie coughs. “Sorry, I was just choking on my smoothie. I... wow.Wow. I’m speechless. And I am never at a loss for words.”
“No kidding,” I say ruefully.
“Okay. Okay. So now you’re living with your hot-as-fuck crush who just so happens to be an incredible kisser, and you can’t run because you want to make your dad happy by appearing to be in a stable, loving relationship with said crush.”
A hot rush behind my eyes. I close them. “It’s a pickle.”
“You’d date him if he asked you. Abel. For real, I mean.”
I don’t want to answer that question.
I don’t need to, because Mollie barrels forward, already knowing what I’d say. “So why don’t you really date him, Jen?”
“Oh, the usual reason. He’s not into me like that.”
“Are you sure? If he kissed you—and I’m guessing he didn’tneedto kiss you—and if he was the one who came up with the whole idea?—”
“He loves my dad as much as I do. He’s just doing what he thinks is right. Him putting a ring on my finger has nothing to do with me. As a person, I mean.”
Mollie clicks her tongue. “He put a ring on your finger.”
I press the pad of my thumb against my ring finger on my left hand. It’s bare. The ring is back at Abel’s house, safely tucked inside its box on my nightstand. Abel’s nightstand. I feel weirdly naked not wearing it. “Wedohave to look married.”
“It’s real, isn’t it? The ring?”
“Well, yeah?—”
“Sweetie. Men don’t buy real diamond rings for women they’re not into.” She giggles. “Oh my God, hot Abel isintoyou.”
“He’s not.” But a fizzy feeling rises in my chest nonetheless. “The ring is on loan.”
“I bet he’s an animal in bed. I’m so happy for you, Jen! You’re finally with a guy who gets it. Who getsyou.”
“What? You’ve only met Abel once.”
“Once is enough when it comes to hot Abel. What was that Instagram account? The builder with the boner?”
“Bald Head Construction Babe. And that was deactivated years ago. I think they got shadow banned or something because the pictures were?—”
“Egregiously porny? Tell me something. When was the last time you had good sex? And please don’t drop Brian’s name, ‘oh, he was so passionate and such a good kisser’ or whatever. Because even though you said the sex was good, it fucked with your head. That makes itnotgood in my book.”
I have to think about when my last solid lay was.
I have to think really hard to identify the sex in my past that felt good. That was good for my body and for my head. An embarrassing amount of time passes before I say, “Who knows? Sometimes I think the sex I’ve had has never been about me.”
“I wouldn’t disagree with that. I say this with love, Jen. But I think you try too hard to package yourself into everyone’s quote unquote cool girl. The girlMaximmagazine tellsus we’re supposed to be: low maintenance, effortlessly hot, and down to fuck whenever and wherever.”
There’s that burn behind my eyes again. “Funny you mention that. Abel and I were just talking about how I’m so tired of being a people pleaser. I just don’t know how to turn that trait off.”
