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“So, now what?” A pit forms in my stomach, and it churns with need. I want to help him, but I know I shouldn’t get involved. I can’t take on his issue when I’ve got my own to work through.
“Well, they towed his truck. And obviously he’s lost his license. He pled guilty, and they released him on his own recognizance. But he’ll have to go to court, most likely pay a fine. Not sure when he’ll get his license back.”
“Jesus. How’s he going to get to work?” House O’Love has recently been taken over by Adam, though his dad, Frank, won’t let go completely. Billy’s been working there full-time to ease the workload on their dad, so I can imagine this will be a source of discontent amongst them all.
Chelsea shakes her head. “Adam will become his chauffeur.”
“Sis, I’m sorry. I know this is only going to pull Adam further away.”
“I’m used to it,” she replies with a shrug. “He’s the fixer, right? Isn’t that what they call him? He’s going to step right in and hold his hand.”
She gulps down the last of her drink and I feel her resentment as loud as I hear her words, and my heart aches for her. After being begged by Adam, she moved here expecting a new life with him. Marriage, babies, the whole deal; but he’s done nothing but work and clean up his family’s mess. And adding in Billy now? The nights alone are only going to get worse.
** *
My hands lightup the keyboard. Word after word pours onto the screen in front of me and every emotion I felt for Billy today comes out.
I cried for him today.
Knowing the larger-than-life attitude he carries around is only a mask for the sad child inside. I’ve no idea why he’s so lost, but the cover up is slipping. He’s reaching his end and what I wouldn’t do to be that girl to meet him there. But how can I take that on? How can I be the one who saves him when I don’t know a thing about how he got there?
Learning what I did from my father, I know this sort of life never gets better. And it wasn’t until I got away from him that I didn’t realize how much it affected me. Have I become my mother? The one who wants to stay in a bad relationship out of fear for his well being instead of the safety of mine?
I cried for him today and not because of what he lost, but because of what I did. A future with a man who’s so good but doesn’t believe it.
I can’t give up, though. I see who he is underneath theshow. And if I could get close enough, would he let me in?
My hands pause on the keys as I re-read my words, a story that hits so close to home, I have to push through my emotions as I type and type through my tears. It’s cathartic for me, but it also brings memories to the surface that I’d rather stay buried. Most I haven’t dealt with and the rest I simply don’t want to.
Keep going, Ad. They say the best stories come from personal experience. Let’s do this.
CHAPTER EIGHT
BILLY
“You’re so selfish!I can’t believe this! When are you going to learn?”
Sitting next to my mom on the couch, I let Adam berate me while my dad paces behind him. I expected this confrontation, but sitting here, all I can think about is going home and grabbing a beer from my fridge and a shot from the cabinet.
Maybe a little something more, with an old friend, to carry me through the night. Avoid this pain and the pain of not seeing Adley.
“I have a business to run, Bill. Afamilybusiness. It’s how we all eat. How we all li-”
“Youhave a business to run? Last time I checked,ourlast name is on the building.”
He comes close, bending down and getting in my face, but he doesn’t touch me. Mom’s eyes burn the side of his head, but he doesn’t see her as he spits his venom. “Dad put me in charge because he knew you’d fuck it up. So yeah,Ihave a business to run.”
“Alright, enough!” Dad stops pacing and grabs Adam by his arm,pulling him back from me. “I need you both, you know this. Bill, you’re no less important in any of the tasks it takes to run this company. I thank God for the two of you, because I can’t do this alone anymore. But I need this to stop, Bill. You getting drunk and showing up with a hangover, or not showing at all, isn’t going to keep us in business.” He watches me, jaw ticking. “And I won’t even go into what would happen to this family if something happened to you.”
Mom takes my hand, having been eerily silent throughout the whole ordeal. She hasn’t cried; she hasn’t yelled. She came to the station alone to pick me up, speaking briefly to Officer Hunter before we left, then she handled everything else for me as well. She got me set up with an attorney, and enrolled me in the eight-week class I have to take about the dangers of drunk driving.
“I’ll drive you to your job sites, Bill.”
Adam throws his hands up in an exaggerated motion. “Oh, Mommy to the rescue! How does it feel, Billy? Twenty-one years old and Mommy has to drive you to work!”
Pushing off the couch, I lunge at my brother and get one good jab to his ribs before my dad pulls us apart. “Enough!” Dad shouts. “I’ve got one son in the Marine Corps doing god knows what, a daughter in the city and you two who can’t get along. You’re killing me! This is not how I raised you!”
We’re both breathing heavily, my adrenaline only fueling my need to lash out further. But I won’t because I see what it’s doing to my father.
