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She pauses with her hands lingering gently on the rag she placed on my arm, her eyes intent on mine as she asks quietly, almostpleadingly, “Please tell me this is the first time he’s put his hands on you, and you haven’t been keeping secrets from us.”
I look at my hands, knowing my first inclination is to try to dismiss it, to pass it off like it isn’t a big deal, but it is. I see it. Because though this is the first time he has gotten physical, this is just an escalation of his normal questionable behaviors.
“This is the first time he put his hands on me,” I reply, looking down at my hands again as I confess, “Usually it’s just yelling. Putting me down.”
“Cheating,” my sister adds angrily.
Tears stream down my face, but I’m not crying because of Steve. I knew he was doing something, the text messages proved as much, and I should have stood my ground at that point. No, these tears come because Billy knew. He knew and he didn’t tell me.
“They were fighting over me.” I look at the faces of my friends and then ask, “What does Billy know?”
Francesca speaks up. “He hardly knows Steve, I think he was just spouting off-”
“No. He knew. And he told me, too.” Chelsea admits, her voice a whisper.
“Chelsea!” I exclaim, hurt shooting through me at her confession. “You both knew and hid it from me? I can’t believe you!”
I try to pull away, but Farrah holds onto me tightly and Chelsea grabs my hands as she says, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We all just started putting it together. Billy saw Steve out a few months back and-”
“A few months? How long?”
“He wasn’t sure. He thought about six when you guys were broken up. They were at a bar. And Steve was with some girl. I don’t know what happened exactly, but Billy was texting me asking questions about whether you and Steve were still together.”
I sit with this information, rewinding those six months in my head to when Billy and I were together. It was the weekend Steve and I were fighting, after Steve showed up unexpectedly and we broke up for a brief spell.
Was it wrong for me to sleep with Billy?
Does he actually remember our night together and believes I was just using him?
Is that the reason why he never called?
** *
Once Steve leftwithout any further incident, the bar became relatively calm. The guys managed to calm Billy down and for the disturbance Adam bought the entire bar a round.
The town fully supports the Casanova family, though, and no one even bats an eye at the altercation. They’re more concerned about Billy, and I hear some whispers and rumbles about Steve’s remarks, but for the most part people go on about their business. I’m not sure if I hope it will end up buried or if I’m hopeful it will bring up long overdue questions and an intervention from his family.
I’m sitting alone at a small table, tracing the edge of my glass with my fingertip. I thought I’d feel more upset now that it’s over with Steve, but I don’t. I actually feel relieved knowing the ring was returned to him, marking the end of our relationship.
I can’t imagine having to have another conversation with him, let alone a lifetime of them, because it would always be something.
Steve has a problem with the Casanovas, specifically Billy and when Chelsea marries Adam, they become my family, too. And I won’t let anything come between my sister and me.
“There’s the girl of my dreams.” Billy says as he slides onto the stool next to me. He’s feeling good, I see it in his glassy eyes and how loose his body is. His words are a bit slurred, and it makes me wonder what went on in that back office.
He feels off, maybe because the adrenaline has worn off or from whatever he’s on, but knowing what I know leaves me unsure of how to proceed. I need to question him, have a conversation about when he saw Steve at that bar, but now obviously isn’t the time.
“Billy,” I reply dryly. “I’m sure you have plenty of girls in your dreams and real life.”
“Mm. I do. But I only want one.”
He nudges my shoulder with his, and I roll my eyes. “I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.”
“Why insulted?”
“You got plenty and you’re bragging about it.”
He shakes his head. “Not a brag. Honestly, it’s a drag.” His eyes widen and he laughs. “Check me out, drunk and still able to rhyme.”
