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The recovery is taking longer than I expected. I’ll feel better one day and then go backwards and have to spend the next day in bed.
By the end of the third week, I feel quite a bit better as long as I stay off of my phone and don’t watch TV. Audiobooks and podcasts have been a lifesaver. I still have daily headaches, and I’ve been surprised that it’s taking this long to fully recover. Wyatt and Sutton keep reminding me that recovery time is different for everyone, and that it could take a long time for me to fully feel like myself again.
Sutton’s schedule is slower this week and it’s been nice to spend the afternoons with him, but the guilt I feel over everything is becoming all-consuming.
We’re on the couch. After school, Owen went to play with Dakota. Sutton’s behind me, my back against his chest, and his legs are on either side. It’s a big couch, but he’s a tall, muscular man, so we’re leaning a little sideways to fit. His fingers trace light circles on my arm, and even though I’ve tried to make outmultiple times with him in the past few weeks, he hasn’t let it go beyond fevered, passionate kisses.
“I hate that I’m still taking everyone’s time.” The words rush out of me like a waterfall.
His fingers stop.
“I’m fine to start doing more around here, and I saw that you paid me even though I haven’t worked in weeks. You can’t do that, Sutton.”
He kisses my head, and his fingers resume their light tickling up and down my arms.
“I can,” he says, his voice light and teasing. “And you’re not rushing through this recovery. Owen and I are fine, and everyone is happy to help.”
“If I’d known I’d take this long, I would’ve never come here.” I groan when I start to cry.
He shifts, leaning until his eyes are on mine. “I love you, Felicity.”
My eyes widen. I’ve hoped he might, but I haven’t dared believe he actually does. Even though he’s done everything he possibly can to show it.
“I love you,” I whisper back.
His eyes soften, and his thumb caresses my cheek and over my mouth.
“I love you so much, I don’t even know how to put it into words,” he says. “I’ve teased my brothers and sister mercilessly for how fast they fell in love, but I’m having to eat every word because I’m right there with them. I knew it but didn’t want to admit it before the accident, but talk about clarity—when I saw you lying in the snow, bleeding and not waking up, I fucking wished I hadn’t wasted any time.” He chuckles under his breath. “And the only reason I haven’t told you sooner is because Wyatt told me not to get you too excited aboutanything…” He laughs again.
“Hmm. You thought this would excite me, huh?” I tease, laughing when he pretends to scowl. “Wyatt knows?”
“Oh yeah, he knows. Not because I’ve said it though. I’ve been waiting to tell you first, but I’m certain they all know. They’ve watched me be a basket case about you for the past three-and-a-half weeks.”
I laugh and turn so I can see him better. I reach up and put my hand in his hair, tugging his lips to mine.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.
He groans and kisses me, getting even harder beneath me. I turn to face him and he pulls back slowly, his hands on my face.
We’re both breathless, hearts racing.
“I want you,” I tell him, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing down his neck and chest.
“Felicity,” he says, his voice hoarse, “I read somewhere that it takes twenty-six point three days for a woman to be ready for sex after a concussion.”
I blink at him for a few seconds. “It’s been…twenty-four days.”
“Trust me, I know exactly how long it’s been.” He adjusts himself, trying to distance his lower half from me.
I don’t let him.
“I’ll be okay.” I go back to kissing his chest and he shakes his head, stopping me.
“When you go a day without being in pain…when you can do strenuous things without paying for it later…we’ll talk about it.” He smiles at me so sweetly that it almost takes away the sting.
I growl, which only makes his smile grow.
“I want forever with you, sweetness. Or however long you’ll give me, but what I want is forever. And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you just what you mean to me. In every way,” he adds, giving me a light kiss.
