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But I know I’m not strong enough to say no to the temptation Melody brings.
19
Melody
My palms are sweaty. I have no idea what the dynamic between Dr. Banks and I is going to be like after the night in his kitchen. I haven’t heard from him, but I haven’t reached out to him, either. All I know is that wehaveto talk about this like adults.
What happened wasn’t inherently wrong.
I know he probably sees me as some immature college kid. He needs to know that despite my sexual inexperience, I grew up faster than I should’ve had to, and I am more mature than a lot of women my age. I just never had time to explore that side of me.
How dare he turn me away because of that.
Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe my lack of experience showed, and he likes more experienced women in bed.
Either way, the fact that I am a virgin is the reason he pulled back, and the hurt that slashed through me at the time has morphed into irritation.
Mostly because I’m being punished for who I am or for having never been with a man.
I take a deep breath as I reach his office door, surprised that it’s not cracked open the way it usually is first thing in the morning.
I try the knob and it turns, but as I swing the door open, my heart drops. He’s not here. He’salwayshere first thing...
I glance around the office and then drop my bag into one of the chairs. My eyes catch sight of something on the edge of his desk.
There’s a crisp white envelope with my name on it.
Furrowing my brow, I scoop it up and flip it over, tearing it open.
There’s a note. And a check.
I don’t bother with the check, unfolding the note first.
My jaw drops.
Ms. Everett,
Due to the nature of the events that have transpired here at the school, I think it’s best that you find a new TA position. I have enclosed a severance check. In addition to that, I would recommend speaking with Dr. Nelson, Dr. Dee, or Dr. Ruger about their potential openings. All of those would be suitable for your skills, and you are more than welcome to write me down as a reference.
Best,
Dr. Banks.
Tears form in my eyes, as I peer down at the check. My throat grows tight as I see an ungodly amount of money. It’s almost half the amount of the procedure, but askindas one might try to say it is, it only serves as fuel to my rage.
How could he do this? And why won’t he say all of this to my face? Is he worried about upsetting me? Or do I really mean that little to him?
I spin on my heels and leave his office, the envelope and contents crumpled in my hand. I can barely breathe as I make it down the hallway and to the exit. I can’t stomach going to class today, but I do know one thing.
Iwillbe paying a visit to Dr. Banks.
If he’s going to fire me, he’s going to do it to my face.
***
I spend the entire day cleaning my house from top to bottom. Every nook and cranny is scrubbed until it’s sparkling. It’s the only way I know how to deal with the impending conversation that’s going to happen this evening when Dr. Banks gets off work.
“Whoa...” Dorian steps into the kitchen, his eyes falling on me on my knees, scrubbing the baseboards. “Why does our house smell like a cleaner bomb went off?”
