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Antonio: what happened? Are you ok?
Me: Yes, no, maybe.
Antonio: Just talk to me. You can tell me - whatever it's. If I did something, tell me.
Me: It's not you. It's me. I guess there was no way for me to keep it from you, anyway.
Antonio: Don’t make me beg to understand what is going on.
Me: Antonio, I have never had sex before. I'm a virgin.
I hold my breath. I can see he is typing a reply. Then he stops and goes offline. I stare at the screen. He comes back online. He is typing again. I can't handle this.
Time seems to move at such a slow pace as I wait for his message to come through.
I don't know how he is going to handle this.
my heart shudders with nerves as a message splashes across my screen.
Antonio:, I had no idea that you were going to say that. I would have guessed so many things before I assumed that.
I bite my lip, seeing that he is writing more.
Antonio: Thank you so much for being honest with me. I want you to know that if I had known before last night, I would never have behaved in that way.You are such a beautiful girl. Everything about you. Of course you drive me wild and turn me on in ridiculous ways, but I promise you I'll not push for anything from you. If you are ready, you can let me know. There was no reason to run out like that. I think you are special. Rare. Even more rare than I could have dreamed. I appreciate you being so honest with me. Don’t let last night change your mind about me. I still want to see you. I want to spend time with you.
I read his response three times. It's so accepting and caring that I'm taken aback. I never would have expected this type of response.
He doesn’t feel repulsed or put off by discovering this about me. He still wants to see me.
All this time, I imagined he was just pretending to be this charming, romantic man, just toward one goal, sleeping with me. I thought he hid that villain beneath the surface of the mask he wore around me, yet now, I'm questioning myself.
Perhaps the mask is the one the media gave him. Built by rumors and stories. Perhaps I have been seeing the real him all of this time.
Antonio: Will you still come to New York with me?
New York. In all of this chaos, I had not even thought about New York.
Can I still go to New York with him?
What if heisn’tthe monster I think he is?
I guess, either way, I need to go to New York to find out the truth. The truth about who killed my parents, and the truth about who Antonio is.
Me: I'll still go to New York with you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. Thank you for understanding.
Antonio: My angel, you have nothing to be sorry for. We are going to have an amazing time together in New York.
I smile and close my phone.
Throwing the blankets off me, I climb out of bed to start my day. I have to pack for New York today. I’m going to fulfill my lifelong obsession to avenge my parents. I'm going to hunt down the murderer and pay them back.
18
Antonio
Iwake up muchearlier than I do, still tight with anger and confusion about why Seraphina left last night.
Even a cold shower has not eased the lust I'm struggling with.
