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She is not here.
Frustrated and getting angry, I turn my car around to head back to the hotel. By this time, it's dark, and the thought of her being anywhere alone is getting troublesome.
What if my New York family saw me with her and took her?
Would they be so stupid? Could they possibly be so stupid that they would take action against me that will ensure their death?
I'll tear them apart from the inside out. Every single one of them will experience pain beyond what they can comprehend.
I grip the steering wheel so that my knuckles turn white.
I keep checking my phone, expecting Seraphina or Kalo to call me. If she was back at the hotel, back with her phone, I imagine that the first thing she would do was message me or phone me to find out where I am.
My phone is quiet this evening.
I park the car back in the underground parking, my stomach knotted worse than before. I jog up the short flight of stairs to the elevator, climb inside, and wait impatiently for it to climb to the top floor.
I push open the door with a loud thump and rush inside.
Seraphina jumps in fright, spinning around to face me.
“Little bird.” I rush over to her, pulling her into my arms and holding her so tightly that I hear her breath catch.
“Antonio.” She pushes against me. “I can’t breathe.”
“Where were you? What happened?”
She pushes against my chest again, and I lower her to the ground, releasing her from my arms.
“Nothing happened. I just needed space, that's all.”
She wanders toward the kitchen, where she is making tea. I follow her, unsure about what is going on and why she pushed me away.
I feel as though she is moving away from me, not wanting me near her. Perhaps she has decided that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.
I stand quietly, giving her the space to speak to me while she makes her tea. But she says nothing.
She finishes and carries the cup past me to the bedroom.
“I'm going to bed,” she says when she sees me following her.
“Little bird, what is going on? Is it something I have done or said?”
“You? Um, no, Antonio, it’s not you.”
“Is it us? Do you still want this? Please, talk to me. I was so worried today.”
I don’t want to lose her. I love her.
She places her tea on the bedside table and sits down on the bed.
Her eyes look tired. The dark rings beneath them tell me she has not had a good day at all.
I sit down next to her, wanting to wrap my arms around her and comfort her, but unsure about whether she wants that from me.
“Seraphina, what is bothering you? I know sometimes you need your space to think, but I can’t handle this. I need to know what is going on.”
Am I losing you?
