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I’m not sure why Corey felt the need to push me away at my parents’ house, but I know, in my gut, that’s what he did.
That doesn’t change the fact he hurt my feelings, but knowing hiswhymakes me feel bad for him.
Because I’m too damn nice.
“Are you going to tell me why Corey Johnson has been looking at you like you kicked his puppy?”
I turn to Morgan. My best friend invited herself to today’s event when I told her Corey would be here. Despite my insistence that I’d be all right, she refused to let me face him without backup. She knows how badly he broke my heart all those years ago.
“No idea.”
She lifts a skeptical brow. “Really? Is that how we’re going to play this?”
There’s no point in lying to her. Just like in the tenth grade when I tried to tell her I liked the clunky turquoise bracelet she brought me from her family vacation to New Mexico, she can read me like a book.
I sigh. “I might have told Corey to stay away from me.”
“How is that going to work when you’re supposed to help with his rebrand?”
“I talk to his PR agent and her team when I need him to make a post or add an event to his calendar. It’s working so far.”
She tucks her hands into her fleece pockets and looks towards the wooden snow family. “His gaze filled with longing says otherwise.”
“Shut up.” My cheeks flush. “It isnotfilled with longing.”
“Ah hah!” She points her finger in my face. “Admit it. You’re not over him. Not even close.”
“Stop it.” I swat her hand away. “And just because I blush doesn’t mean anything. I blush at everything. Remember the time our English substitute accidentally called me Carl? I was red as a tomato.”
“Stop trying to distract me from the subject at hand,” she says. “Now, start talking. Does Corey know you still have the hots for him?”
“Shhh,” I hiss and quickly look around us to make sure no one overheard her question. A group of kids runs between us and the snowmen cutout where Corey still speaks with Kendrick. I look away before he catches me staring. “Are you trying to lose your spot as my best friend? Because I can replace you in a heartbeat. I mean it. There are at least three women at work who would love to go to brunch with me every other week.”
“Please,” Morgan scoffs. “You and I have history, and no one brunches harder than yours truly. There’s no replacing me. Now, tell me everything. When did you realize you still want to jump into Corey’s bed and dirty up his sheets?”
“You’re the worst.” I walk towards the hot chocolate stand, telling myself I’d like the warm drink to thwart off the cold when I’m really just creating more distance between my loudmouth best friend and the subject of this conversation.
Just like I anticipated, Morgan follows. “Listen, babe, I love you. You know I’ll have your back with whatever you decide. But I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t point out that I’m picking up some serious vibes from Corey. He’s clearly into you.”
“No, he isn’t.” I take a paper cup from the stand attendant with a tight smile. I turn back around and rear back, almost sloshing the hot drink over my hand. “Jesus, Morgan. Give me some space.”
She takes a big step back but continues her argument without missing a beat. “You’re in denial, Carlee. I get it. And I won’t blame you if you don’t want anything to do with him, but youshould at least have all the facts before you make that decision. And the fact is, Corey Johnson has been watching you all day with real emotion in that usually robotic expression of his. You’ve pined after him for years. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to see if he feels the same way?”
“I have not pined!” I reply, indignantly. “And I already know he doesn’t feel that way. He doesn’t even know me anymore, Morgan.” As he so eloquently pointed out at my parents’ house.
“So, he lied. It wouldn’t be the first time.”
I sigh and shake my head.
After the prom debacle, Morgan tried to convince me Corey ghosted me because he panicked. She said he rushed away after unexpectedly kissing me because he was nervous. She told me to give him time to process what had happened and to come to terms with his feelings. She was positive he’d reach out, and I would finally get to be with the boy I loved since he gifted me a bouquet of handpicked wildflowers for my thirteenth birthday.
But he never did.
For the last month of his senior year, Corey avoided me. He stopped coming over to the house, and he no longer sat with me, Morgan, and Carter during lunch. The rejection shattered me. I never knew I could feel such pain. Thankfully, I haven’t felt anything remotely close to it since. Not even during my on-again and off-again relationship with Victor. I’ve never let myself care about anyone else enough for them to be capable of causing that level of hurt.
“I’m done talking about this, Morgan.”
She levels her intelligent brown eyes on me. “Fine. I’ll drop it, but only if you can look me in the eye and tell me there isn’t the smallest part of you that still wants to be with Corey. Be it the old Corey you knew, or the man who’s standing just across this field of decorated hay bales.”
