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She hesitates. I see the debate warring in her gaze until, finally, she admits, “I’m tired of trying to avoid you.”
Hope swells, but I keep my expression neutral. “Me, too.”
She bites the inside of her cheek. “Things would be easier if we were friends.”
I nod. “That’s true.”
“So… we’re agreed? We’re friends?”
“I’ve always considered you a friend,” I admit. It’s true. Contrary to what my cowardly actions indicated all those years ago, I never stopped viewing Carlee Jones as one of the few people in this world I consider a true friend. My behavior drove a wedge between us, but the fundamentals of our relationship were unchanged. At least for me. I can’t blame Carlee if she feels differently.
Her forehead furrows as she digests my declaration. I sense she has many things to say, but a second later, she decides to leave them unspoken. “Okay, then. I guess we’re friends.”
It’s impossible not to smile. “I guess so.”
Her eyes drop to my mouth, and her expression softens. Then, she blinks and snaps her gaze back up. “But I’m still mad at you for not interfering with Carter. For future reference, friends don’t let friend’s brothers crash their dates like that.”
I laugh. “Noted.”
Carlee gives a stern nod, but her lips twitch before she turns on her heel and struts away, moving towards the bar to join Morgan and Carter.
I move to follow her, but I draw up short when I realize how happy I feel at this moment.
The truth hits me like a fastball to the chest, robbing me of breath and leaving a painful sting behind.
I don’t want to just be Carlee’s friend... I want to bemore.
The short banter we exchanged reminded me of our youth—of how I used to love to make her smile—of how happyherhappiness made me.
I’m no good for Carlee. There’s no question that she deserves someone better than me. If I was a stronger man, I’d keep these feelings to myself like I’d planned at Thanksgiving dinner.
But I don’t want to stay away from Carlee.
I want to be with her.
Now, I just need to convince her to give me a chance.
And I think I know just how to do that…
12
CARLEE
December passedin a whirlwind of holiday activities and family celebrations with a busy work schedule sandwiched in between. The twins spent Christmas at my parents’ house, and it was so much fun to experience the magic of the holiday through my niece’s and nephew’s eyes. Santa gifted them bicycles with coordinating helmets and elbow and knee pads, and Abby and Andy had insisted on trying them out the moment the gift exchange was done.
Unable to tell those cuties no, we’d all gathered outside to watch Carter and Corey help them ride without training wheels for the first time. At first, I’d been skeptical of having Corey join our family’s Christmas celebration. I didn’t think we’d be able to maintain our agreement of being friends. I thought he or I would do or say something to ruin our tenuous truce.
But I was wrong.
Mom, Dad, and I clapped and cheered as Abby took off after only falling once, Carter hollering in victory behind her. And we’d shouted words of encouragement for Andy when it took him a little longer to master the skill.
My heart swelled as I watched Corey comfort the disheartened boy after his numerous falls. The sight of thepitcher kneeling in the dirt while wearing expensive slacks and hugging the teary-eyed six-year-old made my ovaries explode. I had to go back in the house under the guise of needing a cup of coffee to keep myself from doing something stupid… like walking across the front yard and kissing the gruff, softhearted man’s cheek.
I worried spending time with Corey would bring past romantic feelings to the surface, but I had no idea it would happen so quickly. It's only been a couple of weeks since Corey and I agreed to be friends, but from the way Corey complimented my social media outreach during the holidays, to the jealous gleam I saw in his gaze when one of his teammates flirted with me during the Lonestars Christmas party, his actions are replacing the pain from our complicated past. I fear that once that pain is gone, I will be more in love with the man than ever before. Which is sure to cause an even deeper pain in the future.
Because even though Corey is currently single, that won’t last. He’s bound to get lonely, and it’s going to hurt like hell when he finally chooses to be with someone else. Despite my determined proclamations to Morgan, saying I don’t want to be with Corey, my feelings after our recent interactions have proven I’m a liar.
I’m screwed.
