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God, why am I arguing this point?
What is wrong with me!?
It occurs to me that this could be a self-preservation tactic. Corey hurt me deeply in the past, and it would be unwise to dive into a relationship without testing the waters. Especially when there’s so much history between us.
So even though my heart wants me to go all in with Corey, my head reminds me that it would be wiser to be cautious.
“Sure, we can take things slow. But this.” He motions between us. “Is not casual. I’m not going to see anyone else, and this only works if you’re the same.”
The teenager in me squeals in delight. “Yeah. I mean, yes. I agree.”
“Good.” His lips curl up in a soft smile. “You know, this is a first for me. I’ve never dated anyone before.”
“That’s not true.” I can think of at least ten different women Corey’s been photographed with over the years. I always tried to stay away from hearing about his love life. It hurt too much. But I couldn’t escape every bit of news, especially not when I follow sports so closely.
“Believe what you want, but it’s true.”
“How is that possible?” He’s a successful, attractive athlete. Some women go to extreme lengths to be with men like him.
Corey shrugs. “I never met anyone I was interested in like that. No one has made me want to put in the effort required for a relationship to work.” He looks down into my eyes, making me wish I’d worn heels so I could be closer to those baby blues. “Not since you, anyway.”
Oh.
Goosebumps cover my arms. “Corey… This is insane. I can’t be your first… whatever this is.” I refuse to be the first to call us boyfriend and girlfriend. I need to hold onto some tendril of dignity.
“Why not?” he asks with a furrowed brow.
“Because firsts are supposed to teach you lessons. You’re supposed to make mistakes, learn from them, and then apply what you learn to the next girl.”
“I’ve already learned what I needed to learn in this life, trust me,” he replies without missing a beat. “And who said there’s going to be a next girl?”
“Jesus, Corey.” My heart thumps wildly. “You can’t say things like that!”
“Why not?”
“Because… just because!” My face heats, and I look out at the crowd passing by to try and get ahold of myself. God. I’m so hopeless around this man. I fear I always will be.
I feel Corey staring at the side of my face, but I keep my attention on the boisterous crowd stumbling down the busy street.
Finally, he says, “I can’t change the fact I’ve never had an exclusive relationship before, Carlee, but I promise that I mean what I said. We can take things slow. As slow as you want.”
I peek at him from the corner of my eye. “Really?”
“Really.” He sounds sincere. “I waited ten years for the chance to be with you. I’m not going to ruin it by pushing you for something you’re not ready for.”
“Gah!” I throw my hands in the air. “There you go again. Stop saying such perfect things.”
His mouth widens into a full-blown smile. “I can’t help it.”
“Well, try.”
He laughs low, making my blush deepen. I’m acting like an inexperienced schoolgirl, and I don’t know how to stop.
Thankfully, Corey takes pity on me. “You got it. I’ll reign in my effortless charm.”
“Thank you.”
He nods with a twinkle in his eye. “Would you like to go to the Social House? I heard some of the guys say they have a great jazz band playing there tonight.”
