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The second pitch flies over the plate, landing right in the catcher’s glove. “What if I suck at … you know?”
“Carlee… you’ve had sex before.”
“Yeah, but not a lot. And I haven’t slept with anyone since Victor.” The batter strikes out. I clap along with the rest of the Lonestars fans scattered throughout the stadium.
“That’s because Victor was an egomaniac who never went down on you once your entire relationship,” Morgan clips, hatred for my ex making her voice rise, catching the attention of the older woman in a Lonestars t-shirt seated next to her. Her brows rise to her graying hairline before looking back at the game with a shocked expression.
I groan. “Will you stop being so crude?” The woman is a stranger, but she could be the mother of one of the players for all I know.
My best friend continues, unrepentant, “The point is, you shouldn’t base your sexual potential on anything involving Victor.”
“Oh my god. Forget I said anything.” I should’ve known better than to discuss this subject in public with my bold best friend.
The next batter swings and misses. Excitement begins to percolate in the stands. Corey might actually do it. He might actually throw his first no-hitter.
If it weren’t for clipping Vegas’s third baseman in the third inning, letting him reach first base, he would be on track to be a perfect game.
“I just want you to be happy, Carlee. You deserve to be happy.”
Her words make the muscles in my back relax. “I know you do. I just feel… overwhelmed. Like I’m out of my element here. And I don’t know what to do.”
“I think you’re overthinking things. You used to know Corey like the back of your hand.”
“Yes, but that was years ago.”
“Something tells me not much has changed underneath that man’s broody exterior.” She motions towards the pitcher’s mound. Once again, I admire Corey’s physique as he winds up and throws another strike. He really is something to look at.
“Don’t get in the way of your happiness,” Morgan tells me gently. “Do what feels right, whenever it feels right.”
I huff an awkward laugh. “And if it never does?”
What if I never get over this uneasiness about sleeping with Corey?
What if I sabotage any chance of a future between us because I’m too nervous to take our relationship to the next level?
“Then I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” Morgan replies.
I can’t begin to describe how miserable that thought makes me.
Our conversation dies, and we both turn to watch the game in silence. The second batter strikes out while my thoughts are circling the state of my romantic life.
Am I going to let this insecurity ruin the culmination of all my adolescent hopes and dreams?
Am I going to throw away the progress Corey and I have made after ten years of not speaking because I’m too afraid I’m going to ruin our relationship by being bad in bed?
What’s wrong with me?
I’ve never been this insecure.
Only around Corey…
The third batter strikes out, and the Lonestars jog off the field to get ready to bat. Like metal to a magnet, my eyes find Corey’s as he makes his way to the dugout. Various teammates clap his shoulders and shout their praise of his performance sofar. His lips move in response, but his eyes never leave mine. And I know the small smile on his face is meant for me.
That’s it. I’m done. I refuse to be the simpering girl who lets life happen to her rather than going out and getting what she wants. That’s not me. Not anymore.
The Lonestars score one run during their turn at bat, bringing the score to three to zero before the bottom of the ninth. Corey takes the mound, and all worries about our non-existent sex life are overshadowed by nervous anticipation of what’s about to happen.
I bite my nails. Next to me, Morgan’s leg is bouncing up and down. The old woman who’d overheard Morgan’s crude comment is wringing her hands together. After the first out, all Lonestars fans are on the edge of their seat. Literally.
