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This time, I’m the one who leaveshimbehind.
28
COREY
Seventy-two hoursafter the meeting at Lonestars’ headquarters, I’m on the plane with the team, going to a game I won’t even play in. I didn’t take my last day off. I needed something to distract myself from the total and complete mess I put myself in.
Not even an hour after telling Carlee I needed space, I knew I made a mistake. A lot is going on in my head, and I obviously have some issues I need to tackle, but I’m no longer that eighteen-year-old kid who was terrified of screwing up the girl next door’s future because of his shitty past. I know, now, that my past doesn’t define me. It shaped me, sure. But the man I am today was formed despite all I endured.
Life dealt me a losing hand in the beginning, but fate turned it around in more ways than one. Not the least being when I met Carlee and her family at such a young age.
I need to apologize for accusing her of telling people about Soup Soul. In the heat of the moment, it was the only thing that made sense. But once I cooled off, I acknowledged she wouldn’t do that. Not after I specifically asked her not to.
I’ve tried calling and texting Carlee more times than I care to admit these past two days, but she hasn’t answered. I thoughtabout reaching out to Morgan, but I don’t even know if she’s aware of our relationship. That realization stings.
I never wanted to be Carlee’s dirty little secret, and I didn’t want her to be mine, either. The past few weeks together have taught me what I’ve known since I was a teenager—I want to be everything to Carlee. I need to talk to her and tell her that.
With that thought, I grab my phone from my carry-on and type another text to Carlee.
Please come sit next to me so we can talk.
I look over the rows of seats in front of me. Carlee sits near the front of the plane with the members of the organization who aren’t coaching staff or players.
Is part of the reason why I decided to travel with the team because I knew Carlee would be on this flight?
Maybe.
Has she so much as looked my way since stepping on the plane?
Nope.
The conversation we need to have should be done in private, but I don’t know how long it will take for me to convince her to speak with me alone. And the distance between us is eating me up inside. So, here I am, staring at the back of the head of the woman of my dreams, praying she’s connected to the plane’s Wi-Fi so she will receive my message.
Seconds pass, and she doesn’t so much as pause her conversation with Chris who sits next to her. The way her boss’s assistant looks at her puts me on edge. I know when a man is interested in a woman, and I’ll be damned if I let this guy think he has a chance with my girl.
I put my hands on the armrests, prepared to stand up and intervene, when Joshua Chen slides into the seat next to the aisle, blocking my path. “Hey, Corey. Got a second?”
I settle back in my seat with a frown. “What is it, Chen?”
The young player is unaffected by my rude tone. “Oh, you know. Nothing really. Just wondering what’s caused you to be such a ray of sunshine these past couple of days? You screaming at Peters really warmed my heart, you know?” He’s talking about the rookie pitcher who’d started our last home game.
The kid isn’t bad, but he’s got a lot to learn about tuning out the opposing team’s crowd in the middle of a game. I just reminded him of that fact whenever he came back to the dugout.
Looking back, I may have been a little aggressive. Not that I’m going to admit that out loud.
“Or during practice when you threw that pitch a little too high for Winston to reach and he nearly threw out his shoulder,” he adds. “That was great, too.”
I sigh. “What’s your point, Chen?”
“I’m just wondering if this is the version of Corey Johnson we can expect for the rest of the season, or if there’s some way you can get the stick out of your ass and get over whatever it is that put it there?”
I stare at the first baseman, stunned. Then, I bark out a laugh, drawing curious glances from the players seated around me. All the players have kept their distance from me on this flight, barely muttering hello when I addressed them. Now, I know why.
Chen’s mouth twitches, but his expression remains serious. “Is that a yes to the first or second question?”
I shake my head, smirking. The kid has guts, I’ll give him that. “The second.”
He nods. “Anything I can do to help?”
