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I should be honest. He and I are on the cusp of breaking up anyway. I might as well reveal the no-dating policy and put the nail in that coffin. If we end things now, maybe I’ll be able to convince whoever suspects us of dating that they were way off base. Maybe I won’t lose my dream job.
You don’t even know if that’s really what’s going on.
I ignore the optimistic thought. There’s no other explanation that makes sense.
“Mr. Johnson.” A flight attendant approaches from the back of the plane, distracting Corey from his line of questioning. “I am so sorry. I know you asked for ten minutes, but the crew needs to clean the cabin before we can store the plane for the night.”
Heaskedfor this?
Of course, he did. Why am I surprised?
“No problem, Angela.” Corey swings my bag on his shoulder and motions for me to walk in front of him. “Shall we?”
Seeing no other option that won’t cause a scene in front of the flight attendant, I spin on my heels and walk off the plane. The private parking lot in the distance is illuminated by headlights from the team’s vehicles as players and staff get in and driveaway. To the right is the main terminal. I start walking in that direction.
“Where are you going?”
“To catch an Uber.” I take out my phone and open the app to order a car, cringing when I see the estimated time for pick up. I guess not many drivers hang around the airport this late at night.
Corey lengthens his stride to catch up to me. “That’s not necessary. I’ll drive you home.”
“No, thanks.”
“Come on, Carlee. Don’t be stubborn. We live in the same building.” He has the audacity to sound exhausted by my behavior. “Let me drive you home.”
“No.” I type in my address and select the first driver that pops up.
“But… I have your bag.”
“I don’t care.” I tighten the hold on my purse in case he gets any crazy ideas about snatching that from me, too, and pick up my pace. Like he said, we live in the same building. He can drop my bag outside my apartment when he realizes he can’t force me to speak with him by holding my belongings hostage.
“Carlee, please.” He stays right behind me. “Are you really going to throw what we have away because I was an idiot?”
I’mthrowing this away?!
I plant my feet and spin around. Not expecting the movement, Corey rocks back on his heels, stumbling before he regains his balance.
“Let’s get one thing straight.I’mnot the one who risked throwing this,” I motion between my chest and his, “away.Youare the one who asked for a break.Youare the one who accused me of breaking your trust without listening to what I had to say. Andyouare the one who—” I click my teeth together, closing my mouth and holding back the words that desperately want toleave my lips. Corey broke my heart ten years ago, but I’m tired of beating that dead horse by bringing it up all the time.
His stare is pleading. “I know. I made a mistake, Carlee. I’m trying to fix it.”
“You have to fix yourself first.”
“I’m trying.”
“Good. I’m glad. But I don’t have the energy to ride an emotional rollercoaster at this point in my life. I want to be with you, Corey, but we won’t work until you have a handle on whatever it is that makes you want to sabotage our relationship at the first sign of conflict.”
“And I want to be with you.” He takes a step closer, and I don’t push him away when his hand cups the side of my face. I’ve missed his touch. I’ve missedhim.And I’m captivated by the emotion swimming in his stunning eyes. “I’m not perfect, Carlee. I fucked up after that meeting, and I fucked up ten years ago. But I’ll be damned if I fuck up again by letting distance grow between us. I need you in my life.”
His words are everything I’ve ever wanted to hear, but a cloud of doubt hangs over my head. “I care about you, too, Corey, but?—”
“No buts,” he says quickly. “At least, not yet. I’m not asking you to fix me, but I’m not asking you to wait in the wings while I figure my shit out, either. I want us to be together. You’re the best part of my life, Carlee Jones, and you’re part of what motivates me to face down my demons. You make me want to be a better man.”
My chest warms. I’ve dreamed of a grand proclamation from Corey for so long, but nothing could’ve prepared me for how happy it would make me feel.
He continues, “I’m not going to beg you to be with me or try to guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do, but if there is any part of you that thinks you can forgive my crappybehavior and give me the chance to make it right, I swear you won’t regret it.”
Every word out of his mouth fuels the hope I’d tried to douse with pessimism. I should’ve known it wouldn’t work. When it comes to Corey Johnson, I’ll never be able to stop myself from wanting him. I’ve been in love with him for most of my life. I don’t believe that will ever change.
