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I glanced at my hands, the image of them covered in blood flashing in my mind. I turned them over, remembering my red knuckles that I scrubbed for hours. “Can you teach me?” I asked.
Carson tilted her head. I saw her weighing the options behind her eyes. I was certain she was going to say no.
“I don’t want anyone, man, woman, dog, I don’t care…I don’t want them to be able to—” I closed my mouth.
Carson sat there listening to me, not saying a word. She didn’t fill the silence. She just waited—again. I thought of Milla, her body more battered than mine. What would have happened that night if I didn’t reach the bottle? If Kai didn’t show up?
I took a deep inhale. “No one will take from me again like that.”
“Okay.” Carson nodded. “We can start in the morning.”
Chapter 28
Kai
Imade my way with Liam, tucked close at his heel. We wandered along the perimeter of the darkened house. I held my knife tightly in my palm.
This job felt different, each one progressively more anxiety-inducing.When did I ever shy away from violence?But it wasn’t the act of violence I was afraid of. It was a form of violence against me. I had someone to get home to, someone who needed me.
“Kai!” Liam called, warning me to keep up. I quickly closed the distance, falling to his heels as we rounded the corner. The backdoor was propped open, and the scent of a home-cooked meal danced with the wind toward us. Spaghetti and meatballs. The smell choked me, forcing me back to my childhood I wanted to lock away—or better yet, erase.
“Angel, Kai, Larkson!” Mrs. Mabel, our foster monster, screamed from downstairs.
Angel lay on my lap, her tears dry and her wounds healed. Mr. Mabel wasn’t the kindest, and Angel was caught sneaking out. I ran my fingers through her hair, soothing her after Larkson and I helped tend to the belt welts on her back.
“One of these days, I’m going to take a knife and stab it through their fucking eyes,” I promised the room. Anger boiled in my blood as I thought about it. About what it would be like bathing in their blood. With my time in the Red Widows, under Samuel Webb’s command, I could do it.
“If you aren’t down here in the next three minutes, your dinner will be in the trash,” she shouted. The bite of her tone was toxic as she unknowingly screamed at me while I fantasized about her death.
None of us even looked forward to dinner any longer. It was always the same thing: Spaghetti and meatballs.
I coughed, shaking the memory away. Nausea crept up my throat.
Liam glanced back, his green eyes a chasm of annoyance and concern. I shrugged, inching closer to the door. I peeked inside, my back staying close to the wall. A young woman stirred the pasta sauce on the stove. Her shorts barely covered her ass, her long legs on display. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, a mix of blue and brown. She reminded me of Laila in that way.
She hummed as she cooked, a sweet song that made me feel almost bad about what we were about to do. We weren’t here for her—but that didn’t mean she was allowed to leave. The worst-case scenario was that she would be used as an empty threat or a bargaining chip and then released.
I rolled my lips into my mouth, nodding to Liam. He made his way back to the front of the house, ready for our job. I had no doubt Logan was nearby, lurking in the shadows as he did. He was the backup, the lookout, and the get the fuck out plan if shit goes south.
Liam was the distraction, the main event, and the enforcer. While I—my job was information. I slowed my breathing down, leaning my head against the wall. This was my life—what wehad to do. But as my eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment, I imagined a different life for myself.
Audry’s hand was wrapped tightly in mine. The beach waves crashed in the distance. We had no care. There were no lurking monsters in the distance, ready to pounce once they saw weakness. We were free—free of the shackles that the devil had placed on us.
“Get the fuck on the ground,” Liam’s voice cut through the fleeting idea.
I slipped into the back door, meeting the mystery woman. Her eyes widened, her lips parting to scream. I wrapped her tight in my arms, covering her mouth, a knife to her throat.
“Keep quiet,” I ordered.
She tensed, tears rolling down her face.
I forced her to the living room, where Liam had our target on his knees.
This was too easy. I saw the same sentiment in Liam’s eyes. The bounty was simple. Charlie owed money to some rich asshole, and we were sent to rough him up to collect what he owed. If he didn’t have it…well, the man who put out the bounty was willing to accept his loss as long as we made it hurt.
Hurt. That was why I was here. My specialty since I gave up guns. I had gained Samuel’s approval, that was until Laila fucked us. Now, I doubt he even remembered my name.
I swallowed down the daddy issues. It was sad that Samuel was the closest thing I had to a father, and I reached for that demon’s approval innately. That was how he’d lured me in. After Liam vouched for me in grade school, my life went off the rails. We were all fully initiated by thirteen, and my life became one violent act after another.
