AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Millie,’ Dad says, and shifting in his seat. A calm Dad voice, breaking up the sibling silliness at the breakfast table. Ocean, or no ocean. ‘We erm. We wanted to give you something. Didn’t we, Toni?’
Dad places a debit card on the table. ‘This – this is for you.’
I look at Dad across the table. ‘What? What is it?’
‘We saved a lot for you both, as you know.’
I nod, looking from to the other. My smiling watery-eyed mum. My smiling watery-eyed dad. ‘For .?.?. for a wedding. For a house, you said.’
Dad swallows. ‘And that was selfish of us. To assume that’s what you want. To assume getting married is who you are. It might be. It might not be. But .?.?.’ He stops, and looks at Mum.
‘We’ve had a lot of time to think, Millie,’ she says. ‘And so much of what you said – I’m so sorry if we’ve ever made you feel less than, for just being who you are.’
Tears sit at the edge of my eyes.
Kieran smiles from the screen, a hand slowly stroking Mango’s round little head.
‘It’s your money. We worked, we saved foryou.And it’s yours. Kieran had his for what he wanted.’
‘Wedding. House deposit. Jeez, how did I get so basic?’ he asks, and I laugh through my tears.
‘Therefore,’ Dad adds, calmly, his speech ready to go and rehearsed (on the plane, I bet), ‘it should be spent on whatyouwant it for. For who you are. Take a holiday. Pay off your student loan. Go and .?.?.’
‘Be Millie,’ says Mum, and that moves me. Turns my heart to warm syrup.
‘Oh my God, are you .?.?. are you sure, though?’
‘Don’t start with that, we’ll take it back.’ Dad chuckles, warmly, colour in his lovely round cheeks once more. I think about him on my doorstep. I think about him drinking from Ralph’s flask on that drizzly bench. A contrast, to right now. ‘It’s yours,’ Dad says. ‘How could we not be sure?’
Mum passes me a tea towel, which I laughingly dab at my eyes. I take the debit card; turn it over in my hand.
‘Just so you know, I resent you all for making me cry,’ Kieran laughs, and he gets up, in search of a tissue and carries us to the kitchen. ‘I am a Brit in an emotionally engaged country, and you are ruining my rep,’ he says, his voice quietening as he riffles through his kitchen drawers for a napkin.
‘I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell us you wanted something different. That you felt things you couldn’t share.’ Dad swallows, his eyes glazing over with tears. He turns to Mum. ‘And .?.?. Toni, how is Julian?’
Mum looks at Dad, her eyes shining. She gawps, for just a flicker, then, of course, gathers herself. ‘He’s – he’s .?.?. he’s okay.’
Dad nods. ‘I know I’m an old man; a soppy old man. But my life is nothing without you, Toni. You, Kieran, Millie. And so much of my life was and is happy because of you all. You havemademy life. Messy, stressful, painful sometimes, but .?.?.’ He brings a chubby, large hand to his nose and sniffs. ‘It’s been a wonderful life. Because of you. And if on his last days, Julian needs some of that, then .?.?. I understand. I do.’
He holds mine and Mum’s hand across the round table. Mum holds the phone, Kieran’s face cradled in her hand.
And together, we sit, a family, at that little wooden table. Having spoken our truths, having made a mess, a tangle, and unteased it again. And like the tide, we made our way back.
*
Text Message from Millie:I miss you Jack.
Text Message from Millie:I miss you so much.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Text Message from Alexis:OH MY GOD I think I just adopted a dog!!!!!??? The process is long af, but Millie, let me tell you, this dog has one eyeball and black patches around his eyes like Robert Smith. He was a stray, found around the back of a McDonald’s. I have found my soulmate. Once and for all. Which means today is a lucky day. Perfect timing for tonight. Good luck, my brave friend. Knock it out the park. Xo
Text Message from Cate:Remember you’re saying this for you, and nobody else, Millie! This is your moment. Say it all out loud and PROUD. Let the whole world (OK, whole function room) hear it. Oh, and don’t rush home tonight. Me and Ralph are going out for pulled pork and then home to watchDirty Dancing. Not a euphemism. (But also, absolutely a euphemism.)
*
The Christmas party is out in pure colourful swing. There are so many fairy lights and Christmas trees, it’s like a nineties Christmas music video – like the actual North Pole itself, with an added vibe of East 17. Flye always go all out, which Petra has always found laughable, considering so much of their top-secret data is held on an Excel spreadsheet. ‘Well, we may have to put petrol in the PCs to make them work, but at least there are fillet steaks and cocktails named after the directors at the Christmas party,’ she often jokes.
