AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cate shrugs, places a neat hand flat to the waist of her coat. ‘I have no idea. I just feel totally queasy and disgusting and the pain keeps sort of radiating? From my stomach, then to my chest. I don’t know, man, it’s weird. But, I’ll live. Probably all that bread I ate on Tuesday with Ralph. We met in my lunch break.’
‘Really?’ I say and I give her my most stupid, shit-eating grin. She doesn’t catch it though.
‘Yeah, it was to die for. Gio’s? The Italian place? They gave us so much garlic bread. But, since then .?.?.’
‘Us,’ I repeat.
‘What?’
‘Didn’t he make you a flask and breakfast today too? Ralph. For your tummy?’
Cate shrugs, tries to stifle a grin, the apple of her cheeks suddenly taut. ‘Yes. Hedid.’Then it’s like she gives herself over to it, ducks her head, as if she’s revealing a secret she’s been dying to share. ‘Did I tell you he made me ackee and salt fish last week? Just because I mentioned it was my favourite. He followed my actualmum’srecipe. Got it off her and everything.’
‘Cate, I think he’s probably secretly in love with you,’ I say, and while I expect my friend to recoil, to deny it, say, ‘WhoRalph?Bit too nerdy for me.’ Instead, Cate smiles.
‘Well. That might be nice,’ she says. ‘If he .?.?. is, I mean. He’s lovely, isn’t he? Like – the loveliest, most interesting person ever. And – have you seen his body?’
I laugh. ‘Well, heisa swimmer. He hasn’t missed a session in almost three years. Rain or shine. Plus, all that karate.’
‘And it fucking shows,’ Cate laughs. ‘Couldn’t take my eyes off his stomach when he’d jogged back from swimming in the rain and whipped that top off. All that tight rain-dappled skin. Plus,’ Cate smiles. ‘What is it you just said? It’s simple.’
‘You trust him.’
‘I do.And that’s hot, isn’t it? Or maybe my stomach is just fucking with my head. Who knows?’ She laughs, then stops on the pavement to kiss my cheeks. ‘Anyway, I’d better go. I’ve come the long way to walk this off, and now I think I might just be plain old late. But, OK, a quick run through the plan again. You’re leaving work early, you’ll go back to the flat, pack the car, come and get me from work at three, then we’ll leave for the treehouse bonanza?’
‘Deal.’
‘I can’t wait.’ Cate blows me a kiss as she flounces off down the street in neat stark-white trainers, a maxi skirt skimming her ankles.
I walk on alone, thinking about what Cate said about Jack, about trust, and about doing the thing that doesn’t feel sensible, but feels right in the moment? Because if I plan this – plan tonotfall for Jack, plan to withdraw from him, to guard my heart, who really loses? Me. I miss out on the feeling I get when I’m with him. I miss out on memories and stories to tell. I miss out on .?.?. living.
And so much has changed. I’ve tried to plan, but really, how far has it got me? I don’t really know if my job is any safer, and even if it is, OK, I’m ‘doing minutes’ and the odd rugby game, but – do I evenwantto do those things? And if not, then what was all the planning for? For everyone else? For redemption? For Owen and Chloe? As in, the man whobroke my heart?
I turn into Flye’s car park. At reception’s high, glass entrance, Chloe stands, neatly, talking to Leona. A belted mack tied at her waist. Chloe looks amazing. I’m actually starting to think Chloe Katz might be one of those people who gets put into a shitty position and flies. Thrives. Copes by delving into something, like a new gym routine, veganism, or ice baths. But then – weren’t they going to meet? Imagine a reconciliation now. What a big ol’ strike through that would be for my to-do list. A big chunk of shame, silenced. A massive win for the life A.E which, bless it, needs some decent PR.
‘Hi, Chloe, Leona,’ I say, and Chloe gives a small, reluctant smile.
‘Hi,’ they both say, and Leona checks her watch. ‘I better go in. Almost nine. Coming, Chlo?’
Chloe hesitates, shakes her head. ‘Nah, I’ve got five minutes,’ and, surprised, and perhaps even a little put out, Leona says, ‘oh,’ and turns to leave. But then I remember Vince’s email. How low-key it was, but how actually, in a very Vince Gudgeon way, it really could be the simple answer to it all. The lovely, non-scary answer that arrived in a lovely, non-scary way. It makes the most sense too. And not that there’s anything anyone can do about it, but it’s certainly good to know if Vince is right and it can be switched on easily. Foreveryonein the whole, wide world to know, for that matter. Maybe I can get it raised in the House of Commons. Save countless lives while in B.E.
‘Oh, Leona?’ I ask. ‘Could I – have a word?’
Leona turns, slowly, almost as if irked. She doesn’t speak, just looks at me, pushes a die-straight section of mousy hair behind her ear. I don’t have a lot to do with Leona. She’s a bit too serious for me. A bit of a jobsworth. She once saw me yawning behind my reception desk and said I shouldn’t. ‘I just think yawning gives the wrong impression, if you see what I mean,’ she said. ‘As if you find your place of work boring and unfulfilling. Do you?’
‘Yeah?’ she asks now, a single, neat eyebrow cocked.
‘Um .?.?.’
She widens her eyes. A wordless, ‘go on, then’. Leona doesn’t get the hint, of wanting to talk privately, but Chloe does, slips her phone out of her handbag and moves away, gives us a little space, but it’s hardly worth the effort. She’s stillright there.
‘I wondered – just .?.?. Vince. Repairman Vince?’ I say. ‘He – he recently told me that our email providers have a scheduled email option?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Right,’ I say. ‘And he said, there’s a mass-send-out option.’
‘Bulk,’ she corrects me. Chloe fidgets next to us, eyes intently on her phone. I now wish I hadn’t asked. Her relationship was completely torn apart because of my email issue and here I am, discussing it, factually, with IT, right in front of her. Not to mention the fact that Jobsworth Leona is being completely cold. I already know this is probably going to be a fruitless endeavour. Probably all that yawning I did. Put her off.
