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She shook the annoying thought from her head.
They had an agreement, and now that agreement was coming to an end. It was an error in judgment on her part to have evenlet the agreement happen in the first place, and especially to let it go on as long as it had.
But it was for her own survival. It was a selfish act, and she’d only agreed because it would increase her own chances of success. She hadn't in any way done it to help Maddie—the girl—she corrected, trying to reduce her to nothing more than a temporary distraction in her mind.
Saff glanced to where she walked beside her, hand gently wrapped around her arm.
She looked calm, almost completely at ease, like she could laugh or make a joke at any moment. It was an odd contrast to the backdrop behind her: the ruined city, half-fallen skyscrapers now far in the distance. Nature had been quick to reclaim the ground it had once lost, sending vines up the buildings to slowly pull them back into the earth.
Maybe to someone else, it would have been poetic or beautiful, like some form of art.
But it didn't to Saff. She preferred the pristine, polished metal. That wasright. That wasorder.
Saff turned, looking straight ahead, squinting against the high afternoon sun. It would be possible to make it to the location of the bunker by nightfall, even with the slower pace she was moving at.
Although one nagging thought kept tugging at the back of her mind. If the bunker wasn’t there anymore, what would she do next?
The throbbing in her head had finally subsided, or maybe she had just gotten so used to it that she didn't notice it anymore. But the pain in her side was approaching an excruciating level, worse than anticipated. Which probably meant an infection had begun to set in.
If the bunker wasn’t there, or if it was but didn’t have a stash of medication, she’d be in a worse position than she already was.
Trees lined the street at the end of the bridge, signaling the point where it split off into smaller roads leading to the suburbs. A concrete divider about two feet tall,stood before the end of the street. One of many remnants from the last few days when they tried to block traffic from entering the city.
As they approached it, Saff came to a slow stop. “We're here."
Maddie remained quiet for a few moments, but by the time Saff peered up at her, her face was set in determination.
She released her hand from Saff's arm, and for the briefest moment, it almost felt odd without it there. She reached up with her other hand and smoothed out the crinkled fabric on her arm, erasing the ghost of the girl's hand.
A row of broken-down cars led down the path to the right.
That was the way she would take. It was the fastest way to the bunker, but it also just so happened to be the safest. The neighborhoods that way were less dense, which also meant less danger.
She turned back to Maddie and watched as she reached around and pulled out the knife she'd given her. Then she held it out in the air in front of her with her palm open.
"Thanks for letting me borrow it."
Saff stared down at the knife in her hand. She hadn't realized it before, but it was one that her father had given her for one of her birthdays—one of the many knives he'd given her. But she remembered this one out of the rest because he'd had her initials carved into the bottom of the handle. Not that he’d told her that when he gave her the gift, but she remembered finding them there that night.
Sometimes she wondered if he’d even known the initials were there. She thought it was actually more plausible that he’d gotten the knife used and they were someone else's initials who just so happened to match hers. That was easier to imagine than to think of her father doing something so sentimental.
"Keep it," Saff muttered.
A warm smile spread across Maddie's mouth. It wasn't the amused or intrigued smile she’d worn off and on as they'd walked. It was different. Genuine.
And Saff hated it.
"I don't want the extra weight in my pack," she added with a little more force than necessary. "And I have enough knives. I don't need it."
Maddie's smile changed slightly, and now it did look amused.
Saff hated that one even more.
But before she could say anything else, Maddie let the smile drop, nodding her head. "Thanks."
Saff let out a small grunt as she looked away, scanning the tree line in front of them. The sunlight was beginning to soften as clouds rolled across the sky. Hopefully, they would pass through. Rain was the last thing she needed.
"What's it like where we are now?" Maddie asked, securing the knife on the side of her backpack.
