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He grabs me again, gentler this time. His tender movements mask a threat beneath them. His lips brush over mine, his breath mingling with mine as if it were my source of life.
“I want to make love to you every night.”
Softly, he licks over my lips, teasing a reaction from me. I shiver and whine with the absence of a kiss.
He grins. “That dazed and lustful expression of yours is something I can’t give up. I want more of you. All of you.”
I slowly shake my head. “I already told you to not find me anymore.”
He tilts his head. “And did you really think I would follow your words? Shana, you were mine the moment I stepped into this temple.”
There he goes again, cornering me, as if nothing could’ve prevented this. He takes my hand and kisses my palm, looking at me and smiling. He nuzzles his face in my hand, simply basking in my touch.
“What do you want from me, Carus?”
“I made myself perfectly clear already. All that's left is for you to accept.”
“I can’t do that.”
He hums, that sneer of his making its taunting appearance. He holds my face with one hand and takes my waist with the other.
“You will do just that. Would you like to know why?”
I hesitate for a moment. “Why?”
He grins before laying out the stakes bare and wide.
“For one thing, your purity has been given to me. This is a secret that could shatter your world. But you already knew that.”
I swallow hard, and he keeps talking.
“Don’t be scared. I just want to let you know what you’re risking by throwing me away. The only one who knows this grand secret is me, of course.”
Then he kisses my nose.
“Great and merciful Karona will keep loving you as you are, or who she thinks you still are.”
Terror falls on me like a pile of stones. My breath gets caught in my throat. I was aware of this risk the whole time, but to have it thrown in my face is a different kind of cruelty.
“How could you use Her Majesty against me? Have you no shame left?”
He shrugs, nonchalantly caressing my cheek. “You know I’m not the kind of dark elf to feel any of that.”
More tears start to fall. “Carus, don’t treat me like this. I never asked for any of this. No one can ever know. I already accepted the guilt of not being pure until my last breath. This is my home.”
“I know, my dear. I wouldn’t want you to endure any hardship because of me.”
I laugh scornfully and push him away. It’s all because of him. The only man I ever laid with, and he’s a curse on my life. He’ll never leave me. I’ll never be free from his clutches.
But I damn myself for yearning for him. For simply just thinking about him and remembering his alluring voice and ardent touch. I find myself longing for more even when I don’t want to.
“Why is this happening?” I say to myself, nearly falling on my knees. I glare at him when he tries to hold me up. “Will you stop at nothing until I’m completely broken? Look at me. I’m already getting torn from the inside out. This should’ve never have happened.”
I’m losing myself. The darkness up ahead consumes me already. I don’t know what to do now. I’m powerless against Carus but too cowardly to admit my sins.
He simply stares as my façade cracks and my anxiety becomes palpable. I start to hyperventilate as I clutch my chest,still drowning in my tears. Seeing me in this state, Carus pulls me in his embrace, caressing my back and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
“Just tell me exactly what you want,” I beg between whimpers.
