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It was helping, but I couldn't clear my mind, not with his eyes right there watching me. I tossed his hands away and leapt to the middle of the bed, facing the wall. Jake followed, wordlessly gripping my shoulders. I relaxed again, feeling him tense up, aiming to deliver the help he promised.
And then-the glorious ache. I started to cry out, but Jake set his hand over my mouth. "Shh!"
Oh yeah, the doorknob still wasn't fixed.
His fingers knotted into my hair and I groaned, begging for more. More pleasure, more pain, more everything. Anything to make me stop thinking.
"Any more and you'll go through the wall." Jake whispered into the skin of my shoulder, but kept pulling my hair because he knew I needed it.
His moves were concentrated and wonderful, shooting my aching void and the nagging beast inside it to the moon.
+++
I lay beneath him panting.
Feeling his hot breath against my back, his voice was husky. "You're crazy." His lips skimmed my shoulder before he rolled over to grab a cigarette.
"I've got school." I scrambled out of bed, grabbing at my discarded clothes.
Jakes face soured. He flicked the lighter on and drew in a puff of smoke. "I'm driving you home."
"No." I turned around in search of my shoes.
"Hey," He touched my arm and I froze.
His fingertip felt like a brick flying through a plate-glass window. I was broken and desolate all over again.
Another mistake.
Another fucking colossal mistake to add to the flurry of shit that followed me wherever I went.
Another reason for Angel to hate me.
"What is it?"
"Nothing." The word came out like a bullet, with force. "I just want to walk."
I carried my shoes with me outside, scrambling to put as much distance between me and that house as I could before I broke.
No amount of speed could carry me fast enough to outrun the emptiness that opened again, more ferocious than before.
The tears were coming.
Still, I tried to outrun them.
30
-Avery
Of course Angel decided to chase Jake out to California. Worse: she expected me to be happy about it.
She was the one leaving everything behind-except me, of course-and still stressing on how to make everything easier for Jake. It was typical Angel: so sure she wasn't worth Jakes' time and constantly trying to make-up for that bullshit. But Jake had that effect on people-he could make them do things they never thought they'd do without a second-thought.
I hated that about him.
As far as I could tell, Angels' exit strategy depended entirely on Deanna being okay with Angel skipping out on her own graduation. But Angel was determined-no matter the sacrifice-that she would make the tour and the only way that was going to happen was if she got permission to leave. The flipside was; if we followed our instinct and just ran off, someone would give chase, and Jake couldn't have that inconvenience. So that was the choice I was leaning towards.
I watched Angel busy herself; making her bed and a pallet before leaving the room to pop some popcorn. She brought back drinks and a movie and kept moving around the room, a bundle of nervous energy, sifting through the bags of clothes I brought over.
