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This was so much better than the waist touching and the pocket-play. It was . . . blood boiling, liquid fireworks.
His hands moved up from my hips to my waist. They stretched around the circumference before he pulled away and chuckled. "You're so tiny." I followed his gaze down to my waist and was surprised to see that the tips of his thumbs were only a few inches apart. "You're like a little bird. I better be gentle, I don't want to break you."
I had never thought of myself as thin or tiny and I was going to say so, but stopped when Jake gave his lips back to me. I felt movement and then I was pinned between Jakes chest and the wall.
The next time words were exchanged, we were inside the bands old cargo van. It was a beater-big and clunky-covered in graffiti and stickers, with no seats, only a huge open area in the back. Jake spread a blanket over the worn carpet of the van floor and we fell inside, never breaking our hold on one another. He pinned me beneath him, pressed his hips into me, using his knees to push mine apart. The sweet pressure of him did strange things to me. A new kind of friction that made me greedy, made me want every part of me to touch every part of him. My hands seemed to know what to do. I didn't even have to think about taking them from his face to touch his shoulders or sliding them down his taut arms and back.
"Angel." Jake breathed into my mouth, took my breath and gave me his own. "Angel. I want you so bad."
After this confession, before I had a chance to respond, Max opened the backdoor. There was a pile of equipment beside him. It was time to load up. Max looked at Jake, rolled his eyes, and muttered something about getting a room. So, our steamy moment was put on pause. I hid my embarrassment behind my hair as we got out to help.
Once all the equipment and instruments were loaded, all of us, including Avery, smashed inside the old Dodge van, off to Analog Controllers' motel.
The problem then became privacy. The band was sharing one room with two queen size beds.
Andrew claimed one, Max claimed the other. Avery laughed from a chair in the corner. But I could tell she felt sorry for me.
"Take a walk?" Jake asked, nudging my elbow.
We strolled the empty corridors of the motel, passing up ice machines and payphones. An older couple passed us. They were both dripping water, wrapped in towels, and holding hands, talking with one another in a way that said they had been together for a very long time.
"Sorry." Jake murmured once they passed.
"For what?" I stopped walking.
"For not thinking ahead. For not being able to finish what I started." His eyes smoldered. "We could just make out in the van?"
I was standing in front of a glass door. The one the older couple had passed through. Just beyond it was the motels' enclosed pool. I looked through the smoked glass at the empty lounge chairs, the sparkling water, and pressed on the door. It was unlocked. We walked inside and Jake pushed the door closed. His long fingers deftly turned the deadbolt, locking the door from the inside.
He turned back to me, wide-eyed. "Is this okay?"
I felt my body straighten, preening as I nodded. "Definitely."
He took my hand in his and pulled me towards another doorway that was labeled 'employees only.' He took a quick look through the room without stepping in and reached one arm inside. The lights of the swimming area went out.
We kept walking. The poolside was now solely lit by a hallway that led to showers. Jake grabbed a fluffy lounge chair and set it in a dark corner in the back, out of sight.
I stared down at the red and white stripes of the cushion and felt his lips on my neck. All my muscles went limp under his sweet pressure. His arms came around my waist and those nerve endings flared again. A fire exploded within. My hips instinctively pushed against him. I gasped as his fingers knotted into my hair, his nails scraping my scalp as he turned me to face him.
"I don't know if I ever told you, but I think you're very beautiful." His palm rested against my face.
"So are you."
His eyes seemed to search mine before making a groping march down to my mouth. He tilted my head up to his; set another hot palm over the place where my neck met my shoulder. His thumb grazed my throat. I released a pleasured sigh.
"If I move too fast, you'll tell me, right?" His lips grazed mine as he whispered.
I nodded, aching for his kiss. But I had to wait. He kept his eyes on mine as he laid me down on the red and white striped chaise. Once again, his knees separated mine, making room for his hips as he pressed his weight onto me, picking up where he left off in the van. A glorious shiver ran through me as Jake hovered above me, finally closing the distance between our mouths. His kisses were hypnotic: demanding and sweet, breathing into me, taking pleasure and giving it back. I was dazed. Illuminated, by his glorious blaze, dancing in the fire he kindled.
I heard myself whine with guilt and delight as he lifted my shirt. Guilt, that I had snuck off and left Avery, and delight, because Jake felt so good, and more guilt because I was acting like such a groupie, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop. I could only be thankful that I borrowed Avery's black lacy bra. It was a little too snug, but made my boobs look great. I yanked Jakes shirt off in turn and tossed it aside as his fingers moved to my jeans.
Jake was the one who stopped, but only to investigate the small set of lines over my hip bone. His thumb grazed my side. His brows knit together as he tugged the top of my jeans a little lower to better see the marks I had given myself as an experiment. As I was trying to remember which underwear I was wearing, he backed up onto his knees and I realized what was happening.
Chagrin gathered in my cheeks and I confessed before he asked. "I'm not a cutter. I just tried it a few times."
"What do you mean by tried?"
"Well . . . uh, my friend, she does it. She says it helps her feel better and I wanted to know what she meant, so I did it with her." I kept Avery's name out of it, knowing she'd want me to.
