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I’m stuck in place for long seconds, staring at her, my mind running wild with thoughts of all the things that happened to her—the ones I know and the ones she holds close.
“Ace,” she whispers, and I drop to my knees in front of her.
“Do you want to stop?”
“What?” Her brows crease as her blue eyes search mine desperately. “No, I don’t want to stop. I want this.”
I press my eyes closed, and it’s the feel of her palms on my cheeks that force them open again.
“You’re not them, Ace. You haven’t hurt me. Ever. All you’ve ever done is take care of me, and I know that’s not going to change. I know you would rather die than hurt me. And you know that too.” Her words filter through my mind, but it’s the fact she broke her pose that confirms everything she’s said.
I may not know a lot about what happened to her. I may not know how she was trained or what they did to her when she did something wrong.
But I know that simple move to come to me, to comfort me despite the order I had given her, means she trusts me with not only her body but her heart and mind too.
And I won’t ever break it.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
MIA
His stubble beneath my palms anchors me to this moment, even when my mind threatens to drag me back to a time I wish I could forget.
If I’d even so much as thought about breaking my submissive pose with any of my previous owners, Kyle included, I would have been punished over and over until I knew better.
But I know Ace won’t hurt me, and that’s what I tell myself repeatedly as I kneel in front of him.
His eyes when he saw me drop to my knees were more haunted than I’ve ever seen them, and then when he fell to his own in front of me, I knew I had to comfort him. Because I don’t want this to end. I want him to take what he needs from me. I want him to show me his darkness and prove to myself I can handle it.
Finally, I’m seeing that although I want to run, to keep the people I’ve come to care for safe, I can’t do it. I can’t leave Ace. I can’t tear myself from this little bubble he’s built for me to heal, only to hand myself to the man who broke me for the first time.
Kyle was never the worst, but he was the one who started the domino effect. Who led the way so the others could continue to shatter me into a million pieces.
And little by little, Ace has been building me up. He’s been putting me back together in a way I didn’t think was possible.
If you had told me a month ago that I would ever be able to enjoy sex again, I would have laughed in your face. If you’d told me I’d be asking for a man to show me his worst, I’d probably have descended into a panic attack at the very thought.
And yet Ace has proven me wrong at every turn, and I’ll never be able to repay him for all he’s done for me.
The words are on the tip of my tongue. The ones I never thought I’d have the chance to tell him. The ones I felt in my very soul from the moment I understood what they meant. And the part of me that’s still scared, who has been beaten and broken so often that I’m afraid of my own goddamn shadow, begs me to swallow them, to hold them close to my chest to avoid the pain.
But the woman Ace has helped me become in such a short time won’t let me. She pushes her way to the front, full of the bravery and bravado I’ve only ever had in Ace’s presence, and I’m powerless to stop her.
“I love you, Ace,” I whisper into the space between us. “With every single broken piece of me, I love you. And each day I spend here with you, I become a little more whole.”
“Say it again.” The green of his eyes darkens, and the wild look he gives me makes it hard not to rub my thighs together.
“I love you.”
“Again,” he demands.
I laugh, my lips turning up into a smile that feels both natural and foreign. “I love you, Ace. With every single piece of me.”
He closes the distance between us so quickly I almost miss the move as his lips descend on mine. The kiss is raw and feral as he pours everything into me, giving me all of him, and I return every nip, every swipe of the tongue, every bit of emotion he gives me.
He drags his lips from mine, his breathing as heavy as mine, as we try to catch our breath. “I love you, Mia. With every beat of the heart that always belonged to you.”
I lean forward and catch his lips again, my pose completely forgotten despite it being drilled into me for years that I’m to hold it no matter what.
