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“I’m sorry, Ace, I didn’t want to undermine you or anything. I know you care for her, I just…she helped me, so I want to make sure she feels safe.” Clara rushes to defend herself, not realizing it’s not her I’m upset with. It’s me.
“It’s fine, Clara.” I scrub my hand over my face, my heavy eyes burning with each second they’re open. I’m no stranger to fatigue. I’ve often worked days on end without sleep, but the tiredness has set into my bones and it’s only a matter of time before I crash. “I know you’re only doing what’s best for her.”
“Ace is a little shortsighted when it comes to Mia,” Tommy admits.
I glare at him, but he just shrugs. “It’s true, you always have been. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m the same with Clara.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of her lips, and she burrows her face into his chest. The moment is too intimate for someone to watch from the outside, and yet I can’t bring myself to move. It’s everything I’ve deprived myself of—the life I never allowed myself to live because I let Mia down.
I made her a promise once and broke it, there’s no way I’ll make that mistake again.
CHAPTER FIVE
MIA
Despite living in hell for most of my life, I’m no stranger to the finer things in life.
The men who have owned me in the past all had money. Too fucking much of it. They say money is the root of all evil, and in my experience, that couldn’t be closer to the truth. It makes people cold and greedy, makes them think they can own other humans as if they’re a piece of property.
Hotel rooms like this were a “treat.” That’s what Craig used to call them. When he brought me to places like this, it was a reward. I always wanted to scoff when he said that word. Like I was being rewarded for being his own personal punching bag, for allowing him to violate me whenever he chose. None of the things he was rewarding me for were my choice, but that was irrelevant to him. His money and upbringing made him think it was okay to buy another human being for his sick games.
Voices in the living area carry into the room Clara has set me up in. There are bags of clothes sitting on the end of the bed, all from designer labels I recognize but was never allowed to wear. Except with Lombardi. Although marrying a Mafia prince who would likely treat me as nothing more than a baby farm isn’t how I foresaw my life going as a child, it’s a better alternative to some of the futures life could have dealt me.
Craig could have killed me any number of times. He wasn’t exactly a gentle man, and his proclivities made me question how long I would live with him as my master. But he was killed before he could end my life, and once again I was on the market.
I peek into one of the bags that I recognize as a pajama brand and a small smile tips up the corners of my mouth. The bag is full to the brim of items I only could have dreamed of sleeping in just a few months ago, but the reality of the situation quickly has me stepping back. I can’t wear any of them. I can’t owe the Saint James family more than I already do. They helped to save me, and although they say they don’t want payment for their generosity, I don’t want to push it. I know there’s a fine line with people like them, where generosity turns to taking advantage, and that’s how you get yourself killed…or worse.
A violent shudder quakes through my bones. No. I can’t do it. I can’t do any of this.
I look over the room again. The luxurious-looking king-size bed. The view of the Chicago skyline. The marble peeking out from the connecting bathroom. I don’t belong here.
I don’t belong anywhere.
A soft knock at the door drags my attention away from the bags, and I find Clara and Tommy standing in the doorway with tentative smiles playing on their lips.
“Hey,” I say quietly. I wonder if they noticed how freaked out I am by the clothes and the way sweat beads at my hairline as panic descends upon me.
“We’re going to get going.” Clara looks up at Tommy with uncertainty. “We just wanted to double check you’re okay here and that you have everything you need.”
“I’m fine. Thank you for…everything.” A simple thank you doesn’t seem like enough considering the gravity of what they’ve done for me, but what else can I say?
Tommy takes a step forward, and I force myself to keep my feet planted and my body still. This was the first thing I learned when I was in training. Don’t flinch. Don’t show fear. Men will always exploit weakness. It doesn’t matter if Tommy kept me safe through my childhood and did everything in his power to keep me away from the shit our foster parents were into, my fight-or-flight instinct doesn’t know the difference between him and every man who has hurt me in the last eight years.
He pauses a few feet away, as if he knows I can’t handle him being any closer. He holds a phone out to me, but I don’t immediately reach for it. I’ve never been allowed to have one. The only phone I’ve ever had was a shitty burner Ace gave me after he and Tommy escaped so he could check in with me, but this iPhone is the newest model. I saw an ad for it when I first arrived at the Lombardi compound and I was locked in my room for the first few days. It was the first time I’d been allowed to watch television in years, aside from the odd news program my owner was watching and I was in the room for.
“This is for you. It has mine and Clara’s numbers programmed in already, as well as Ace’s and all the Saint James family. If you need anything, I want you to call one of us. Doesn’t matter what it is, doesn’t matter what time it is, we’ll be here, okay?”
I open my mouth to respond, but I can’t conjure any words to say. People only ever do nice things for you when they have an ulterior motive. That’s something I learned long ago, but usually I can see the wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing a mile away.
Clara appears at his side, her hand reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. “Promise us you’ll call if you need anything?”
I nod, words still lost to me, but it’s enough to grant me a bright smile.
Some of the tension releases from Tommy’s shoulders when I take the phone from him, but he still seems uncertain about leaving me here with Ace.
“I’ll be fine, Tommy.”
He sighs and brushes his fingers along the stubble on his jaw. “We’re only a phone call away.”
