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As much as I wanted to kiss her, I didn’t make that move.
“Anytime,” Sara said, at last, breaking the tension between us like glass. “Goodnight.”
Remembering myself, I retracted my hand and let her go remorsefully. “Goodnight.”
As her pleasant smile lingered, Sara turned away and headed inside.
Frozen in place afterward, I could only stand there and try to pick up the pieces. I swallowed hard, dazed by my own feelings—or at least, the jumble of them.
She did me a solid, and she proved to be a lot more agreeable than I ever wanted to admit before. It turned out that my annoyingly positive neighbor wasn’t half bad. She was even better than that.
Giving in and admitting slight defeat, I headed next door, internally battling what I wanted.
On one hand, it was more than generous of her to put up with my issues and help me face them without thinking twice. She was my neighbor and far more brilliant in every way than I ever could be. She was young and had everything ahead of her still. We had an arrangement I knew better than to take advantage of.
But on the other, I couldn’t get her out of my head. That internal pining grew worse with every passing day, and I didn’t understand it. I felt like a lost dog trailing her, hoping for any morsel of attention.
It was unlike me, yet in a way, it almost made me better. Kinder.
She was wearing off on me and breaking down my walls. I didn’t know how, but Sara just seemed to have a way of pulling it out of me.
She had become a sort of addiction to me, and I had the feeling it was only the beginning of my conflicting desires.
***
While that fleeting opportunity to touch Sara had been exactly that, the effects hit me ten-fold in the days that followed.
I wanted to divulge in the pleasure I had known briefly, and not feeling it again made my whole system rigid and agitated.
That genuine frustration came out as I lifted one of the heavier dumbbells the pack gym offered like it was the one thing capable of bringing me relief. My muscles tensed beneath it, but my internal pacing wolf lent me the strength I needed to push through.
As Rowan finished up on one of the other machines, I could feel his eyes on me.
“Training for something I don’t know about?”
I heaved out a breath and pushed through another rep. “Nothing in particular.”
Even if he was my alpha, it didn’t stop my snark from gleaning through. I knew I sounded like I was teetering on the edge of throwing a wolf-sized tantrum, but I couldn’t help it. I was deeply unsettled, and not having Sara was getting the better of me.
It made me wonder when that change started to happen. When I started needed Sara to the point of nearly losing my mind.
But Rowan only chuckled. That was a perk of being the alpha’s best friend. “Is this about Sara?”
Even hearing her name leave his mouth irritated me. It was unlike me, and I knew that.
Not trusting what my wolf might have to say, I reigned it in and threw him a scalding look instead. It was all the confirmation he needed.
He cocked a brow at me and wiped the sweat from his face. “Is she really that irritating to you?”
I clenched my jaw and hung the dumbbell back on the stand. Reaching for my towel, I tried to catch my breath. Subtle embarrassment ebbed into my chest. “The opposite.”
Silent surprise coursed through Rowan at once, then he seemed to take a more serious approach. “What’s going on?”
Sighing, it felt impossible to even say. But I couldn’t leave him hanging.
“There’s been a turn of events … Sara and I hooked up after that night at the Roadbar, and she agreed to put on a charade with me to convince my mom I didn’t need her to matchmake for me. Things have gotten out of control since then, and I’m itching to be near her. It’s driving me insane.”
Suspicion filled Rowan’s gaze as he leaned forward. “You’re feeling worked up … like you could fight anyone that looks at you or mentions her?”
