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The vision or whatever is happening fades as fast as it started. I’m standing at the side of Raven’s bed and she and Jayce are staring at me. They both look worried and a bit shellshocked.
“What?” I ask with a shrug, making it out to be no big deal. We don’t need another thing to worry about.
“You walked through the burning man. He was right where you’re standing,” she stammers.
“That explains my vision. Was it Wolf?” I ask as I take a seat next to her on the bed.
“What part of ‘burning man’ don’t you understand? For all I knew, it was one of you.”
“My money is on Wolf. When I stepped up to your bed, I was taken back to his office. He was going to propose to Iris when the fire started.”
“In my dream, he told me I was nearly her twin. I was talking to him and asking him if he gave us our gifts when I woke up to a figure on fire by my bed.”
“Well, at least we have each other for support as we figure out these curses. Can you imagine having to go it alone?” Jayce asks.
“We would be committed, straight jackets for all of us,” Raven pipes up.
I don’t think she’s wrong. We’d be searching for years just to find a reliable source to help us. There are too many frauds and too many skeptics. Something I know well since I was one up to the night of our hunt.
“So, what’s our plan then?” Raven asks as she chews on her bottom lip. It’s her telltale sign that she’s anxious and, for once, I don’t have anything left in me to calm her. Jayce reaches out and grabs her wrist, his eyes flickering to mine before starting to let go. Seeing something that should be so natural to them be tainted by our relationship bothers me. I’ve seen the way they look at each other but they’re too stubborn to realize it. Sometimes, even I feel like the third wheel with those two, their history makes that an inevitability but after our accident, I’m realizing life is too short to limit ourselves. Our group of three just makes sense and the idea of Jayce holding back for the rest of our lives together makes me want to scream.
“Okay, it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room. I can’t do this anymore,” I say, going out to the living room and taking the armchair, forcing them to sit on the couch together when they follow.
Raven looks devastated, swallowing hard before speaking to me. “Can’t do what? Us?” Her glassy eyes nearly tear me apart. She’s not a crier.
“What? No!” I protest, running a hand over my face. “I’m sorry. Let me just get this out first, okay? I’m not the ‘deep talk’ kind of guy, so this won’t be eloquent, but it’s necessary.”
She chews her lip again and nods, but Jayce looks like he knows exactly where this is going, dread coloring his usual masked expression. It’s at this moment that I realize I don’t want him to be miserable, either. I want this for both of them and there’s no real strong jealousy holding me back. Just realization and a feeling of rightness.
“Okay,” he says softly without looking up again. His fingers pick at nonexistent fuzz along his pajama pants. Even seeing him so dressed down is strange. Jayce likes things a certain way and sticks to it. The entire scene is a testament to how tumultuous things have been since that night.
“Look. I know you two have been friends forever,” I start. His entire body sags and I growl. “Let me finish before you hit that point, alright Jayce?”
“Sorry, go ahead.” His voice wavers and I just dive in before they can assume shit any longer.
“We found out the hard way that life is short. We almost all died in that accident. You guys may have been just friends at one point in your lives, but it hasn’t been that way in a long fucking time. It’s obvious to me, and you both have just been too scared to deal with it. I’m not going to let you both be miserable and wonder ‘what if’ forever. So, get your heads out of the sand and face your fucking feelings, alright?” I rush out in almost a single breath. They both blink at me, stunned. “Look. There’s nothing scarier than facing your own death, and realizing what’s important and what you could have missed. Fucking ask Wolf, I bet he has a few things to say on the matter. As for me…I’m stepping onto the balcony for some fresh air, you two talk to each other.”
“But,” Raven starts. “I have feelings for you both.” A tear tracks down her cheek. I’m already out of my seat to walk outside, so I make a detour to her, leaning down with a groan and wrapping my arms around her.
“And I’m glad. I’m not saying I want you to leave me, I’m saying we find a new normal. Together. I can share,” I say, holding up a hand at her offended expression. “With Jayce and only Jayce. I won’t get in the way of your happiness, nor will I get in the way of my own. Apparently, this wreck brought me some freaking wisdom or something because this is deep for me. Come get me when you’re done.”
Jayce
Raven and I stare at each other at a complete loss for words. Part of me is bubbling with hope, the other anxiety and fear of rejection. Could she really want me after all these years? My heart pounds and sweat beads on my forehead.
Time to man up, Jayce.
“Raven,” I breathe out her name like a prayer. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but I could never find the words to tell you, and when you met Eli, I saw all the things he could give you that I never could. So, I didn’t say anything.”
“Like what?” she asks, confused.
“Attention for one,” I laugh humorlessly. “I’m such a focused person that I tend to forget the world when I’m working on something. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you, I just get lost in research easily. I’m bad at emotions and expressing myself. It’s not as easy for me to come out and be like ‘hey, I think about you naked.’”
My eyes widen at what I just said, realizing it slipped out without thought. I push my glasses back up on the bridge of my nose as she lets out a surprised bark of laughter and shakes her head.
“I love those things about you, Jayce,” she promises. “I just thought you weren’t really interested. Every time I flirted with you, it was met by dry humor, confusion, or… nothing.”
“What?” I ask, genuinely lost. “When did that happen?”
