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“We’ve had some bad ones, a lot about that night,” he admitted. “It’s a small price to pay for autonomy.”
My heart broke at his words. It was fucked up that we were grateful for all the chaos and hell surrounding us because the world was worse.
“Are you going to read it?” I asked him as I leaned into him. He wrapped an arm around me but didn’t answer for a few beats.
“I think so,” he finally said as he reached for the side table and grabbed his folder.
His hands shook as he pulled it open, and I tried not to read over it as he did, waiting for him to say something and offering silent support.
Then his face paled further and he gasped.
“Oh my god.”
“What?” I asked, sitting up so I could properly look at him. “What’s wrong, Roman?”
He was in a sort of trance, not listening until I put my hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at me.
“I’m not the alter. Hiro is,” he said. Roman’s voice broke and I scooted in closer. “How could we remember that wrong? I was the older brother he lost... no. This means.”
God, my poor mate. We had enough to deal with without finding out everything you thought about your past and current life were a lie.
“Hey, hey, you’re both strong now, because of you,” I soothed. But the tears tracking down his cheeks were breaking my heart. He was the strong one, and seeing him break was not easy to watch.
“Maybe it’s wrong, it says I’m an alpha,” he admitted, his voice full of shock and confusion. “We’re a beta, no knot.”
That wasn’t something I could confirm for myself yet but if they were able to look so different when switching, could they have somehow mentally blocked their knot from growing, too?
We likely wouldn't have answers for a while. This wasn’t the time to think about knots, the revelations were too big.
Roman turned to me, voice wavering and fresh tears falling.
“I failed my little brother, Harlow. I let him die.”
“No,” I argued. “You did not let him die, you tried to protect him. You were a child, Roman. And look at the life you’ve given your Hiro.”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, leaning his head forward until it rested against mine.
“I don’t deserve you, Harlow.”
“We deserve each other. We’ve been through hell and back again and we’re no longer alone to face the world,” I promised before standing and holding out a hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“We’re safe here,” he protested.
“And there’s a whole second loft, come on,” I urged him.
Roman needed to get out of his head and we had time to kill before Drake came back.
Future me could figure out what the fuck to do with a dagger. Current me was going to enjoy a moment of peace.
The upper floor was cozy. There was a large fireplace that I wouldn’t trust using, but if we were stuck here, we could try to clear it out.
A door was on the far wall but I wasn’t interested in what laid beyond, only that the ward Monty drew there held strong. The important thing was that the loft was secluded from the floor below.
“We can at least sleep up here,” Roman noted as he glanced around. His voice still held a bit of shock, and I wanted to take it away. I just didn’t know how.
“Hey, don’t get lost in there Roman,” I said as I stepped into his space and tapped his temple. “You’re both in charge from time to time and he isn’t going anywhere. I like you Roman, for you. And I like Hiro, for Hiro. You’re two separate people and no matter how he came to be in this world, you’re both amazing.”
“How can you say that?” he asked me incredulously. “I’m a monster.”
