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“Ash,” I shouted, trying to get him to wake up, but he was gone, eyes glazed over as he sank into his own mind, leaving his body behind.
I threw us into second, then first gear, listening to the damn transmission grind like a bitch while it finally flicked to park as we came to a stop in the emergency lane on the side of the freeway.
“Ash, Ashton, are you ok?”
He blinked, but he was still not all there.
I gripped his shirt and shook, but he pushed me away.
No fucking way.
“You need to come back,” I told him in a firm voice.
It didn’t work.
Last time, getting up close and personal had brought him back, so I needed to try again.
I unbuckled myself and climbed over to him, settling on his legs as I framed his face in my hands.
“Hey,” I murmured, pressing my face close to his, staring into his unfocused eyes. “It’s me. It’s Freya. Take a deep breath, Ash. Look at me if you can.”
I felt his chest rise as he took a big inhale.
“It was just fireworks,” I breathed, pressing my cheek to his. “It’s Independence Day in a couple days and they’re celebrating early. You’re home now. You’re safe.”
I felt his fingers move against my thighs framing his lap. Those hands circled me, and I moved back just enough to see his eyes blink.
“What can I do to help you?” I pleaded as he started coming back to himself, forcing his mind out of the reverie from the past.
“I’m ok,” he ground out, though he didn’t let go of me.
Instead, he pulled me closer, pressing my chest to his so hard I could feel his heartbeat through his shirt.
Not knowing what else to say, I hummed and sang so quietly, pausing to murmur soft words as that rapid heart rate calmed and his muscles slowly eased.
“You’re ok,” I finally said, pressing my cheek to his stubbly, scratchy one. “You’re right here with me. Everything is alright now.”
His big hands drew away from me, gripping my waist to look into my eyes. Those olive ones staring back at me were haunted.
“I’m ok. You might want to drive back, though.”
“You promised me I could drive it, anyway,” I blurted, trying for a smile but failing.
I had expected some kind of smile or chuckle, but I got none of that. He could barely meet my eyes, avoiding looking at me for the most part.
“Sorry,” he said eventually, unbuckling himself. “I’m sure that scared the fuck out of you.”
Despite knowing that I could get off him and he was at least somewhat ok, I stayed and pressed my hands to his cheeks again, forcing him to look at me.
“Ash, it’s ok. We’re fine. What scared me was the way you disappeared inside your head.”
“I lived it all over again,” he breathed, squeezing his eyes shut. “It was like my brain just… Nevermind.”
“No, don’t do that,” I demanded, pinching his cheeks which made those olive eyes open again. “Don’t disappear again. Tell me. Get it out. You don’t have to live there alone, Ash.”
“War is hell,” was all he managed before shoving me off his lap and into the side seat.
He got out of the car and walked slowly around, then opened my door, waiting for me to switch seats with him.
