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That wasn’t exactly friendly, but it wasn’t accusatory, either. A step up.
Throwing my phone across the couch, I went to go get a refill of my wine.
The phone vibrated on the couch while I was in the middle of pouring, and I abandoned it instantly to go diving for the little device, desperate to see what he’d said.
Unknown: I deserve that. And you’re right. I was just trying to do right by you, Frey.
Instantly, tears were welling in my eyes as I stared at those words.
Do right by me? How could he ever think that abandoning me after I’d told him I loved him was doing right by me?
Me: That doesn’t make any sense.
It totally didn’t make any sense. He had so much explaining to do.
Unknown: You still have the Firebird?
Those damn tears spilled over my cheeks.
Me: Yeah, I still have the Bird. How could I not?
It killed me every time I went into my little garage across the parking lot to get something, seeing the car under its tarp. I hadn’t gotten the courage yet to bring it out and drive it. It reminded me too much of him.
Unknown: I don’t know. Figured you were pissed and maybe trashed the thing. I couldn’t take it with me, and I knew you would appreciate it for what it was. A classic.
It was definitely a classic.
Before writing him back, I fixed the contact info to read ‘Ash the Ass’.
Me: I was so pissed that it’s not even funny, but I wouldn’t take that out on a poor bird.
Ash the Ass: You’re right. You aren’t vindictive like that.
There was a pause while I thought about my next response when another one from him came in.
Ash the Ass: Was pissed? Does that mean you aren’t anymore?
Of course he would zero in on a single word. Him and his overactive, conspiratorial brain.
Me: How incredibly like you to take a single word and make an entire conclusion off of it.
Ash the Ass: I take that as a firm no.
Well, how was I supposed to answer that?
Me: I was hurt sometimes, and pissed other times. And even more often, I was both.
Ash the Ass: I’m sorry I hurt you. But you know why I left. I had to.
Me: I seem to have forgotten. Please remind me.
I knew? I knew? Last thing I knew, I was telling everyone I loved him while Dad was beating the shit out of him. Not only had I never gotten reciprocation, but he’d completely ignored it and left without a word.
Ash the Ass: We both knew that our little fling was temporary. I’m old enough to be your dad, for fuck’s sake.
Me: That didn’t seem to bother you when you were coming inside me or sucking my cunt.
The words came out in an angry stream of my fingers over the glass surface of my phone. Words I instantly regretted.
