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I know she’s right; church is tomorrow, and we’re on church grounds. Anyone going to Mass could see her if she waited until the morning.
I sigh before leaning into her golden locks and kiss the top of her head.
“I know, Goldie girl. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“If you didn’t live right next to the church, I would chance it, but tomorrow’s Sunday. There will be too many people.”
“Let’s get you cleaned up then. Will you be there tomorrow?”
One of her breathtaking smiles appears as she looks up at me.
“Of course I will. I’ll be in the front row with another one of your favorite low-cut dresses on.”
“I knew you did that on purpose,” I say through laughter.
I head for my bathroom to get a towel to help clean her up. Normally I would be pulling her into the shower with me, but it’s already so late. We’re taking too many chances as it is.
I come back out of the bathroom to see my Goldie girl looking like a real-life angel on my bed.
Sex with Avery was better than I could have ever imagined it would be. Her tight, wet pussy is my dream come true, but seeing her relaxed waiting for me? Even better than any dream I could have imagined.
The next day at morning Mass, Avery did as she said she would and wore a low-cut, pale-blue dress to church. I love her in these dresses.
“Good morning, Father Lachlan,” Avery greets me.
The priest performing the Mass usually greets parishioners as we wait with the altar servers for Mass to begin.
“Good morning, Avery. I hope you’re doing well.”
“Yes, Father, I’m feeling very refreshed these days. Very relaxed. It’s a wonderful day,” she beams.
“Relaxed is good; what kind of de-stressors have you been using? I may have to try them out,” I tease.
She blushes.
“Lots of yoga. I find bending to be very helpful in relieving stress. Getting to the right spot just makes a world of difference.”
“Thank you for the tip,” I wink at her.
“See you after Mass,” she giggles.
Avery saunters down the aisle to the front near where I’ll be seated. I watch her as she finds her now usual spot. I’m beginning to recognize most of the regulars who attend.
This part of performing Mass isn’t something I’m going to miss. One of the negatives to being a priest is needing to greet people even when you aren’t in the right mindset.
What I will have to figure out is how to still help people in need when I leave the priesthood. It’s what I enjoy most about being a priest. It’s one of the ways I repent for my past sins.
What I don’t enjoy are the people who come in here just to be seen. Do they even have a relationship with God? I’m already just like them by starting down this path with Avery. I’m no better, even as I parade around as a priest this morning.
After Avery left me last night, I began to question everything. Being with Avery is wrong. Wanting her is wrong.
The guilt I’m facing is for me and me alone. Why does being a priest feel like the absolute wrong decision for the first time since I sat on those church steps in Boston?
Avery did nothing wrong. I should have stopped her in my office that day. I shouldn’t have turned my home into a fucking setup that could rival anyone’s Valentine’s Day plans.
I want Avery, and what I told her last night is the truth. Knowing that just doesn’t subside the internal guilt I’m coming to terms with. Catholic guilt is real.
I’ll have to figure out a way to move forward because I’m not going to stop what’s happening between us. I won’t pretend like that’s an option anymore.
