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“He was at work. Apparently, mom came home, and Reggie was still in her room. That wasn’t unusual because she worked nights, as I said before. She said she took her some coffee and found her hanging there and immediately called the cops.”
“Did she leave a note?” Mikhail enquires and I shake my head. “No, not officially.”
“Then what?”
My lip trembles as I whisper, “I found her diary. It had been hidden under my mattress. It must have been her, hoping I’d find it because if the cops read what was in there, mom and Mickey would be doing time right now.”
“Then why didn’t you give it to them? By the sounds of it you owed them nothing, anyway.”
“Because of the last entry.”
He says nothing and I think back on the note I found.
Dearest Lilli
Please forgive me. I can’t carry on. I know this is the coward’s way out, but I can’t live with what I’ve done. They have broken me. Don’t let them do the same to you.
This diary doesn’t make for easy reading, and I apologize about that. I want you to read every word, knowing that I had no choice. Mickey threatened me. He told me that unless I agreed, he would put you in my place and all the time I played nice, you would be safe.
I tried so hard to keep you safe, but I can’t live with what happened. I can’t live with the guilt, the self-loathing and the pain of this life. So, read this diary, gorgeous girl and run like hell. Plan your escape and never look back. They do not have your best interests at heart, I promise you that.
So, my precious flower, I’m leaving you now, but I am doing it with a heavy heart. I love you more than anything and I’m going to find Dad. He needs me now and you must be strong and make something of your life. It’s my dying wish.
Your loving sister
Reggie xxx
I lift my eyes to Mikhail and say in a dead voice, “She killed herself because of Carter Lamont.”
He says nothing, and I growl, “The last entry in her diary sickened me.”
Sandy appears with our meal and it’s a welcome distraction and we say nothing as we start to eat, not that I have much of an appetite left now. The homeless man will eat well today.
We finish our meal and I blink back the tears and whisper, “You asked me why I wanted Carter dead. I don’t. Not really.”
He says nothing and fixes me with a blank expression, and I sigh. “I wanted to blow his fucking dick off so he could never hurt another woman again.”
His lips twitch but he says nothing and, if anything, I see admiration light in his eyes as I add, “I want him to suffer. To live his life knowing something he cared about was taken away from him. To live with the repercussions of his actions, a fitting tribute to my sister, who never deserved the shit he forced her into.”
I push my plate away and sigh heavily. “Can we go now?”
“No.”
I peer up into his flashing eyes and swallow hard.
He’s angry. Why?
“You haven’t; finished your story. What happened when your sister was gone? I’m guessing Mickey wasn’t too happy to lose his golden goose. What happened to you?”
My eyes fill with tears and my world crashes around me. It’s one thing telling Reggie’s story, but a different thing entirely spilling my own dark secret.
To distract him, I say quickly, “The diary.”
He says nothing and I gasp, “It’s all in there. The parties, the men she met and the places she went. You asked about Iris Mahoney. I lied to you.”
He leans forward and his eyes glitter with anger as he hisses, “You lied to me?”
I feel like a fool and nod miserably. “I told you I overheard Mickey talking to my mom. That wasn’t how it happened. The name is littered through Reggie’s diary. Iris Mahoney is always there but wears a different smile every time. Reggie refers to them as the burning roses.”
