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And I interrupted before she could speak. “So, no, he hasn’t said anything, then.”
“Was it just because you slept with someone else without his permission?” she said. “Is that why everything fell apart with the two of you?”
It was my turn to hesitate.
She waited, looking up into my eyes.
I let out a breath, feeling the power of this moment wash through me. I was dancing with my omega. I had this gorgeous woman in my arms and she was going to be mine for the rest of my life. I didn’t deserve her, or Rohan, or any of the things that were happening to me. I’d basically poured gasoline all over my life and then ran around dropping lit matches whenever and wherever, watching the flames with glee. She cared about me, and by all rights, she shouldn’t. “No,” I said finally. “It wasn’t just that.”
She waited, expectant, for me to elaborate.
“I pushed him away,” I said.
She nodded. “I sense that. And I sense that you hurt him in a way that he can’t heal, because…” She looked up over my head. “I think he’s actually really insecure in some ways. He feels like something is terribly, terribly wrong with him. I think he thought if he saved you in some way, it would prove that he wasn’t damaged or something. And you, of course, were not going to be saved.”
I winced.
She met my gaze, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean that as an accusation. Obviously, trying to save anyone is very unhealthy.”
Right, which was why she was doing it, too? Whatever. I was going to save my damned self, and they would all see. “It’s always poor, poor Devlin,” I muttered.
She laughed softly. “Poor Sinclair,” she said. “Poor, poor Sinclair.”
I groaned. “Don’t do that.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? Don’t you want someone to acknowledge that you’re in pain, too?”
“No,” I said, too quickly.
She patted my arm, gentle. “You princes, all of you, you don’t feel like you’re allowed to be sad. It’s as if everyone acts like you aren’t real people with real feelings, and when you have feelings, you don’t know what to do with them.”
That settled into me uncomfortably. It was true that there was pressure on us, always pressure. Smile for the cameras, look poised, look regal. Give your subjects a show.
Was that what I expected from Devlin?
When I fell for him, did I fall for an image of Prince Charming, handsome and perfect? Had I rejected him when I realized he was just as messy and flawed as I was, only in different ways?
How was that fair?
26
devlin
“WHAT ARE YOU doing here?” I blinked as Sinclair peered into the car. He was standing outside in the darkness, silhouetted from behind by the lamplights in the palace courtyard.
It was late.
The ball had gone until after midnight, and then Eleri wanted us all to leave immediately afterward to drive to the north. It would be a two-hour drive, and we wouldn’t get there until the middle of the night. I’d argued against it, saying we should delay until the morning, but Eleri and Maguire had said it wouldn’t be fair to Rohan and Sinclair if she spent the night with me and Maguire, and that it was better not to start everything off on the wrong foot.
I hadn’t entirely understood. Wouldn’t they be annoyed anyway, since we were making them travel in a separate car from the three of us, anyway?
I certainly didn’t have any plans of biting my omega in the back seat of a car, but I’d have been lying if I didn’t admit that the idea of messing around a little on the drive didn’t appeal to me.
But now, I was realizing that I’d been played.
Sinclair straightened up, looking around. “The other car, it’s pulling out.”
“They set us up,” I said darkly. “Get in.”
