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I wanted to make it true, to eradicate the parts of myself that wanted something other than he wanted. I wanted us to be the same in every way, a perfect match, like two halves of the same person.
And somehow, I knew, deep down, that I was going to fail at that.
But days passed, and we went out each day and made appearances here and there in public. We were photographed together, and I got better at waving at crowds and smiling for cameras.
Each evening, we came home to our rooms to Maguire, to the three of us together in bed. I took Devlin’s knot and sometimes Maguire knotted Devlin or sometimes I got to have him in my mouth. I loved when that happened. I adored sucking alpha cock.
There was talk about my getting to have both of their cocks at once, but I was a little wary of having a knot in my ass, especially after watching all the preparations with Devlin. However, I think I also protested because I knew Devlin wanted to be the only alpha who’d fucked my pussy. He wanted it to be his. And he certainly wasn’t going to give my ass to Maguire, either, I knew that. My mouth was one thing, but something about either of my other holes, it mattered to him for some reason.
Maybe it was splitting hairs—it definitely was—but I sensed it from him, and I wanted to please him.
Then we’d wake up in the morning, Maguire would go home, and we’d do it all over again.
I spoke to my parents a few times, and they were doing all right, even though their lives had been disrupted. They were coping with it, and they were enjoying the new house the royals had purchased for them, which was a fortress against the outside world, a place they could retreat from the hounding of reporters. We agreed we’d see each other soon. I missed them.
A week and a half passed in this way.
My life was entirely different, and everything had changed, but I was happy. It felt as if my life had gone on pause that night in college when I’d presented as an omega, and it hadn’t started again until now, finding my alpha, finding where I belonged.
It was good.
It was a Thursday and I was informed we were going to be at a luncheon for the DAK (Daughters of the Angleford Kingdom) and all the royals would be in attendance. I was nervous, because I realized this meant I’d have to see the Queen again, and I hadn’t seen her since after the fist fight. I was also going to have to see Sinclair again.
The thought of Sinclair made my insides lurch in the strangest and most upsetting of ways. I was curious and eager for Sinclair, and I knew that wasn’t a good thing.
For one thing, my wanting Sinclair hurt Devlin, and I still didn’t understand why that was or what had happened between them.
But for another thing, the desire I had for Sinclair was frightening to me.
With the other alphas, there was a sense of safety to my desires for them. I felt good around them. Sinclair was dangerous, however, and I could sense it. It did nothing to dampen my desire for him, though. If anything, it amplified it.
I resolved I’d stay close to Devlin throughout the luncheon, and that, if necessary, I’d have Rohan do that thing for me where he kept me from looking at Sinclair.
I was looking forward to seeing Rohan again. If I hadn’t been so worried about hurting Devlin, maybe I might have been more eager with asking about Rohan being with us more often. But I was squelching any desire I had for anything that wasn’t Devlin. I would do it for as long as I possibly could.
11
rohan
I FOUND SINCLAIR smoking on a balcony in the upper levels of the building where we were attending the luncheon that day. I had been sent looking for him by the Queen, who seemed conflicted.
“On the one hand,” she’d said, “we’d be better off, likely, if he simply didn’t show up. On the other hand, not knowing where he is makes me nervous. Can you get him and keep him somewhere I can see him, please, Rohan?”
Now, Sinclair sucked on his cigarette, dark curls in his eyes. He was not wearing a tie, but just a suit jacket and a dress shirt beneath. It was unbuttoned to halfway down his chest, showing off hints of his curly chest hair. He looked like some sort of demon prince, an alluring siren’s song to destruction. He smirked at me.
“Your grandmother’s worried about you,” I said.
He laughed, smoking his cigarette. “Worried about what I’ll do, actually, am I right? Well, I just thought I’d steer clear of the omega for as long as possible.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“What? You think I’m not capable of exercising a little forethought?” He flicked ash over the balcony. “I am.”
“Just didn’t think you’d want to steer clear of the omega,” I said.
“Well, with something like that, when you really want to touch, and you’re told you can’t…” He shrugged. He offered me the cigarette.
I shook my head.
