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I can see that she’s trying to pretend she doesn’t remember what question I asked right before Jaxon interrupted us.
“Breanna,” I prompt. “Are you okay?”
She sighs, and I glance at the bar behind me, stepping out of the way of the doors. Garrett hasn’t come looking for me, which means he’s probably found some sort of female company in the bar.
“Yeah, I mean, I left him. I told you I left my fiance when we were… talking the other night. I just had no idea my fiance was your brother.”
“Me neither.” I laugh because it’s so absurd that it doesn’t feel like real life for a moment there. “But, it doesn’t matter. And just so you know, he did try to get me to fire you, but I’m not about to let you go. Jaxon loves you, and I… appreciate you looking after him, Breanna. I really appreciate it."
Breanna's response is genuine, her tone filled with warmth. "Of course, Harrison. Anytime. You know, Jaxon is a sweet boy."
I stand there a minute more, neither of us saying anything. But I’m not ready to hang up yet. I want to tell Breanna that I like her too, that I couldn’t fire her becauseI like having her around. She makes me smile, and… But I’m not going to do that.
I can’t risk her getting freaked out and leaving.
“Well, thanks. Have a good night. I’ll let you know when I’m on the way home.”
After Breanna tells me to stay as late as I want, I end the call and slip my phone back into my pocket, feeling a sense of reassurance settle over me. Despite the challenges and disagreements, knowing that Jaxon is in good hands with Breanna eases some of the weight off my shoulders. Maybe she is a terrible girlfriend, and Garrett’s right about that, but I know that she’s an excellent nanny.
As I make my way into the bar to join Garrett, I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things will work out in the end. Maybe not for me and Garrett, but at least for me and Breanna.
Chapter twenty-one
Breanna
Last night, when Garrett and Harrison returned, Garrett was so drunk that he could barely walk. Harrison led him up the stairs and settled him in a room while I tried to look busy gathering my things, even though there was nothing else to gather.
When Harrison came back down, we both sort of looked at each other. I didn’t know what to say to him, even though I wanted to say something. With Jaxon already asleep hours ago, there was no little person to ease the awkwardness between us.
Finally, I started walking toward the front door. “Thanks for not firing me,” I told Harrison as I passed him.
Harrison laughed, and that was all I needed to end the night.
Today, as I study myself in the mirror, I realize that I don’t have the courage to do what needs to be done face to face. I imagine myself marching over there and facing Harrison, telling him that I’m sorry but I have to quit.
I never meant to get involved with another branch of this family… not after how Garrett treated me. Harrison has treated me very differently. He still has some of the serious, angry nature that Garrett has, but he’s kinder.
I’ve seen him with Jaxon, but I’ve also just seen him as himself… when I’m not asking for money. I can’t stop thinking about the night we shared a few drinks on his couch. I felt like I really saw him that night.
“No, Breanna,” I tell myself. “That’s enough. He’s Garrett’s brother. You have to run far, far away.”
And even though I can’t change where I currently live because of, well, money, I can at least quit the job. I can find something where I won’t be judged and scrutinized and evaluated for who I used to date.
I should really go over there and quit face to face, I tell myself again in the mirror.
But then, I shake my head. I don’t want to risk another confrontation with Garrett. I can’t shake the threatening words he used when he answered the door before.
I dial Harrison’s number, glad that I have a day before I’m supposed to be with Jaxon again. It will give him the chance to find a last minute babysitter, even if not a long-term nanny.
I do feel bad… but I can’t think about Jaxon right now. I have to think about myself.
Harrison doesn’t answer the phone, which is strange. He always has his phone on him. It’s like an extension of his arm.
But when the machine starts giving me instructions on how to leave a message, I realize that this is best. This is a lot easier than answering his questions, because I feel like Harrison will be pushy and insist that I don’t leave.
When the phone finally beeps, I try to keep my tone upbeat. “Hey, Harrison, I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry, I didn’t realize who you were in relation to… my past. And I don’t think it’s going to be a good idea for me to work with you and… Jaxon anymore. I appreciate you giving me the job, but… I’ll go find another one. Sorry for any inconvenience.”
I want to say something else. I feel like I should, but I don’t know what it would be. Instead, I quickly hang up, my heart racing as I run the words through my head, evaluating them. I made it clear I’m quitting.
