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I thought about that a lot, then concluded that Wavel and I were never meant to be. Caia and I, on the other hand, had a special bond I never knew existed.
Or…I knew it existed, but I never wanted to accept it.
It was early in the morning, and I held her close to my body, with my arms wrapped around her, and her head nestled into my chest. I had a lot of time to think about things, and whenever I hit a dead-end, Caia appeared in my mind, helping me out.
I had been watching her a lot while she slept, and I often sat there in silence as she read a book. Although she looked just like Wavel, and my heart still tried to find a way to keep making me see her, Caia was the one I was slowly falling for.
I reflected on things I should’ve dealt with years ago. I never saw Caia as my sister. I saw her as someone who was simply there. As a little boy, I had always promised my parents that I would be the best big brother on the planet, but when Wavel fell sick, it was her I was set to protect.
Caia never got any of the love and protection I gave to Wavel, and only now I started to realize how fucked up that was. As a little kid, it didn’t occur to me to mind that maybe Wavel wasn’t the only one needing all that attention, but now that I was older, and now that Caia was the only sister I had left, I minded. I minded a whole fucking lot, and I wished I could turn back time and give them both equally as much love.
Maybe then, things would’ve been different. Maybe then, Wavel would’ve still been alive. And maybe then, Caia and I wouldn’t have turned out sick in the head.
I brushed through her long blonde hair, loving the silky feel against my fingers. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her even closer. Her body pressed against mine, and as she moved, I lowered my head to look at her face.
Her eyes were still closed, her lashes brushing against her cheekbones. Her lips were slightly parted, but she was breathing through her nose, slowly, and way too quietly.
I had learned to listen to her in the past couple of days, and the first night I lay awake next to her sleeping self, I had to check if she was still breathing because she did it so quietly.
Caia was beautiful and so damn calm, but I knew inside of her raged a storm. One she kept to herself ever since Wavel died. I knew she was doing better with me by her side, but I unlike her, I never asked her if she wanted to talk about it. I wasn’t ready to ask her. Soon, I would ask her.
I watched her closely, never taking my eyes off her pretty face. She was flawless. Her cheeks were flushed, probably from the heat we were generating under the covers. Her eyes slowly opened, and the tip of her tongue came out to wet her lips. I kept my eyes on her until her gaze met mine, and the small smile she gave me made my damn heart melt.
“Hi,” she whispered, closing her eyes again because they were too tired to stay open.
“Hey,” I whispered back, lifting my right hand to cup her face. I brushed my thumb across her cheek and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Caia…”
Her head turned, and she looked at me wide-eyed. She hadn’t expected me to call her by her name, but she was pleased that I did.
“Yes?”
I studied her closely. There were things I wanted to say to her, ask her. But most of all, I wanted to be inside her. My questions could wait.
“Nothing.” I leaned closer and turned her head to the side, kissing her neck. “I need you,” I breathed.
“I need you too,” she replied, relieved to hear my words. “I love you, Sly.”
She told me she loved me many times before, but I never said anything back. I had wanted to when she was still Wavel to me, but even then, it didn’t feel right.
Now, with my mind and ideas of her slowly changing, saying that I loved her didn’t seem so out of reach. I was going to say it, but I needed more time.
I kissed her neck and made her turn onto her back. Sliding my hand down to her stomach, I lifted her shirt and placed my hand on it flat. Her breathing got faster, and a moan escaped her when I moved my hand higher to cup her tit. I squeezed it gently and moved over her, sliding my leg between hers.
She parted them for me, and I pressed my dick against her crotch, feeling the heat coming from her wet pussy.
“I need to be inside you,” I told her. “Will you let me?”
“Yes. Always,” she replied.
Of course. Because she loved me.
“I promise I will love you back. I promise I will, but I can’t right now. Not yet,” I said, sounding as desperate as I felt. I wanted to love her so bad, I wanted her to be mine, and I wanted to see that glow in her eyes when I tell her that I love her. I couldn’t say those words to her yet.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, sliding her hands into my hair. “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me yet. I know you’re not ready to, but I’ll be right here, waiting,” she promised.
She was too damn good for me.
Maybe that was the reason why I was never able to let her in. I feared these big feelings. Of finding true love in the one I had pushed away all these years.
