Snake: I'm stuck in a meeting with Axel. Can you head to Devil's Rose Bar until I get there?
I messaged back and said okay, before climbing on my bike. I'll head to the bar, then go see Vi.
Fucking Snake, trying to pull me further into the club.
8
Violet
I blink, cursing my alarm, my hand going to the other side of the bed only to feel it stone cold.
Tats is gone.
Frustration pulls me before I place my face into my pillow and scream.
He's gone as per usual.
Fuck.
I know we agreed this was casual, but it's been two years, and even though I said I wouldn't want more, I do…so much.
How hard is it to just stick around for a morning kiss?
Dammit!
I'm in love with him, and the ass has turned into my person, my family. He's given me the feeling of home and safety, which I haven't had since losing my world.
He's my first thought when I wake and the last when I fall asleep. The man is on my mind 24/7.
I want more with him, but I don't know how I can bring it up without him pulling out of our arrangement. I don't think I can return to being his friend, when he's turned into the reason why I breathe. I know he's seeing others, and that's fine. Well, it's not fine, but it's what we both agreed to. It's not like I haven't tried to see other people, too, because I have.
I've met two guys since starting this with Tats, and both times, as soon as their hands touched me, their lips touched my neck—because I refused to kiss anyone else, I felt dirty, extremely dirty, and ended up walking out feeling like I cheated.
I should have pulled from the arrangement last year after the first guy I tried to get with turned out the way it did. I should have realized I was too far gone then, but instead, I continued as is, not wanting to open my eyes and see the situation for what it was. I tried to get with someone else only three months ago, which again flopped.
His hands on me made me physically sick. I left the guy's apartment and vomited in the bushes.
After all the romance books I've read, I really should have seen this arrangement was a bad idea. I mean, he doesn't even remember taking my virginity. I had him once, and that should have been enough, but no, not me, I had to be greedy.
Groaning, I slam my hand on my alarm and get up. I head to my small bathroom and quickly shower, keeping my hair dry, before getting ready for the dreaded exam. My mind is, as always, on a man who's more closed off than a nun's legs.
Great.
I've got this…I hope.
I've just finished putting my hair up in a messy bun after putting on my usual T-shirt and jeans when my phone goes off. I quickly grab it, hoping maybe they've canceled the exam, but I swallow hard when I see who it's from.
Tats: Good luck today, Shorty. I promise you've got this, don't sweat it xxx
I squeeze my eyes shut.
When he does this, it just makes my heart hold on to him tighter.
Damn him.
With my heart in my throat, I quickly make my bed and grab my bag before heading to the living room. I make sure everything is switched off before grabbing my brown cowgirl boots. I lock the door behind me and decide to get a muffin from the café near campus. My exam is in fifty minutes, hopefully giving me enough time because, damn, am I hungry.
Half an hour later, I have my blueberry muffin in hand as I walk out of the café, tearing little bits off. I bump into a classmate, Lewis. He grins, his blue eyes brightening up when he sees me, making me cringe a little inside.