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Was it me?
Was I good enough to hook up with but not settle down with?
The first night we’d been together only happened because we both thought I was leaving town the following day. And the second time we’d had sex, was basically just because we’d had weeks of foreplay. Last night, he’d had a near-death experience.
If I hadn’t lived with Kane… If I’d stayed in town and not been Harper’s nanny, would he have dated me?
I didn’t have the answers to those questions, and I knew there was only one way to find out.
34
KANE
“Sometimes the best thing to do when the world feels dark and ya feel all alone, is grab your ears and pull hard. Ya might be able to remove your head from your rear.” ~ Miss Dottie
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Harper asked me again as I closed her fourth and final book of the night. We’d read two extras because she’d asked, and I hadn’t been able to say no.
“Yes.” I kissed her on the top of her head. “I’m fine.”
This afternoon, I’d woken up to find myself alone in bed. Again. I went downstairs to grab some water and pain medication when Ruby and Harper walked through the front door. Harp was understandably upset when she saw my injury, but all day, I’d been doing my best to show her and not just tell her that I was fine. I’d insisted on brushing her hair out after her bath, even though I only had use of one arm. My other arm was throbbing in pain because I hadn’t wanted any of the routines to change, but now I was paying for it. Not that I would let that show on my face.
“Has Mommy called back yet?”
“Nope, not yet.” I’d left Taylor two messages today. One was me letting her know what happened, and the other was Harper telling her goodnight. Taylor hadn’t been available because she was out on an op. I knew she would call as soon as she got the chance, but I also understood why Harper was worried that she hadn’t spoken to her.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Daddy?” Worry brimmed in her big brown eyes as she repeated the question for the thirtieth or fiftieth time.
“Are you kidding me? I’m great! This is nothing,” I lied.
“Grandad called it a flesh wound.”
“Yep, that’s all it is. If it were really bad, they wouldn’t have let me come home from the hospital. But they just put this big Band-Aid on me and kicked me out.” I kicked my leg out for dramatic effect.
Harper giggled. “Night, Daddy! I love you.”
“I love you more, Peanut.” I bent down, and Harper’s little arms hugged me tightly around my neck. I held her just a little longer and a little tighter than usual, kissing her once more on the head and then scratching Bandit behind his ears.
Before I left her room, I turned on the projector, and stars lit up her ceiling. I stood at the doorway as she settled into her pillow and closed her eyes. I knew that in the blink of an eye, she was going to be a teenager and then off living her own life. It felt like it was just yesterday when Taylor and I were bringing her home from the hospital. Life was crazy like that, and I was glad I was still around to live it.
I walked down the hallway and paused at Ruby’s door. Something was off with her today. I wasn’t sure if it was because of last night. I woke up once, while she was in my arms, and heard myself telling her I loved her. I wasn’t sure if it was real or if I’d dreamt the whole thing. If it was real, I wondered if she’d heard me.
If she had, I could blame it on the painkillers I was on, but I wouldn’t. I did love her. I loved her so much and I knew that she was destined for bigger and better things than settling down with me.
But what if Sam was right? What if I should tell her what I felt? Before I’d gotten shot, I’d been sure that not telling her was the right thing to do. But now…now, I wasn’t so sure.
Either way, I did need to check in on her. I lifted my hand to knock on the door, but before my knuckles made contact, the door opened.
Her eyes widened when she saw me. “Hi.”
“Hey, I was just, I wanted to check on you. You seem…I don’t know off today. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
She nodded. “I’m good… I was coming to check on you. It’s time for your medicine.”
“Oh, right. Okay.” I stood in the doorway, just staring down at her. I felt like there was something she wasn’t saying to me, and I had no idea what it was.
Her lips curled in a tight grin before she stepped around me and went down the stairs to the kitchen, where my medication was. I followed behind her. I watched as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and then filled it with water, doing my best not to stare at her perfect ass like a pervert. Trying to keep myself busy, I picked up my prescription. I grimaced as I attempted to twist off the childproof cap. The pain was worse today than it had been last night.
“Here, let me.” Ruby took the bottle from my hand, easily opened it, and shook out a pill. She did the same with my antibiotics, and dropped them into my palm. I popped the pills into my mouth, then took the glass from Ruby, tilted my head back, and took a large swig of water.
