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Aren’t you at war?
“Thanks for saving me from the Crew,” Lucia spat out, and then followed the others out.
Now, only Jenna and Kru remained. “Thank you,” he gritted out hoarsely.
Jenna cocked her head, unsure of what he meant.
“Thank you for keeping them out of my reach.” He lowered his eyes to the floor, stood, and walked out.
Aren’t you at war?
Lucia had been right.
Jenna closed her eyes as realization washed over her.
They were at war with themselves.
Chapter Eighteen
Jenna found Lucas outside of Damon’s mansion. He was staring up at the darkening sky, his hands linked behind his head.
He looked so big, so strong, so invincible—even clawed-up and bitten. But the hitch in his breath reached her on the wind. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” He didn’t even turn around.
“None of us do,” she told him. “We’re all trying to figure things out.”
He unlinked his hands and twisted around to look at her. His bright eyes were full of emotion, and he shook his head. “You know. You know what you’re doing.”
She let off a thick laugh and dropped her gaze. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it was because she couldn’t witness the pain in his eyes without feeling pain too. Love was many things. That was one of them.
“Things are different than I thought,” he told her.
With a slow inhalation of breath, she closed the distance between them and slipped her hand into his. “I think this should be the last job you do for Damon.”
“Taking over the Crew?”
“No. The last job should be you. Figure out that you’re salvageable, Lucas. And when you figure it out, come back home someday.”
He squeezed her hand gently. “You’re the only one who doesn’t pressure me here.”
Jenna shrugged her shoulders up to her ears and watched the sunset with him. He smelled of blood, and pain, and confusion. Messy heads needed space sometimes. “If I begged you to stay, would you?”
“Yes,” he said, without hesitation.
A smile pursed her lips. He hadn’t said the L-word, but it felt like he had. “I don’t want to earn your resentment, Lucas. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. I don’t think you can figure out what this place is if you don’t have the chance to miss it.”
“I already did that before.”
“Not like this. Not when you’re in your healing season. You’ll think about us when you’re driving those long roads out of here. You’ll see us in your jobs. You’ll ask yourself what you’re doing so far away from this place.”
“I’ll think about you.”
“I have had so much fun with you.” She rested her cheek against his shoulder and wished things could be different. She didn’t want to say goodbye, but Lucas deserved for her to make this easy. “The wind is calling me.” Jenna forced a smile and made her way toward the woods.
“Saying goodbye already?” he called after her.
“I don’t do goodbyes. I’m saying see you when I see you, Lucas Slater.” She tossed a smile over her shoulder and then forced herself not to look back until she was deep in the trees.
He stood there for a minute, eyes holding a faraway look in the direction she was. He nodded to himself and made his way to the parking lot on the side, where she could see now his truck was parked. As he started his engine and meandered down the dark asphalt road that led away from Damon’s mountain home, the first tear escaped to her cheek. She allowed it.
