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"I can't share this one. It's inappropriate."
I rolled my eyes. She had yet to write something that was.
"Then why'd you write it?" I kept my tone light, bordering on silly and she smiled.
"Because I'm not censoring myself like you taught us... but it's about my dad and what everyone's been talking about."
A flat smile crossed my lips and I nodded. "Okay, well then does anyone else one to go before we move on?"
An awkward silence overtook the tweens, so I pulled out the book we were reading. My copy was worn from the years I taught it, multicolored tags sticking out marking places where I had notes and teaching points.
"Let's get back to Number the Stars," I began, and we were quickly engaged in a thoughtful discussion about the courage and love demonstrated by the characters in the story until the class ended.
"Don't forget your spring essays are due next week. I want you all to wow me with the brilliance I know you all possess!"
"See you tomorrow, Ms. S," a few kids called and waved as they filed out the door.
As the last of the kids left the classroom, Hailey walked over to me and said, "I want you to read my journal."
I smiled and took the proffered marbled notebook open to today's entry. I read all of the kids’ entries, but sharing with the class was an optional part of the assignment. As I read her words Hailey fidgeted nervously in my periphery.
Don't get me wrong—I know my dad is the best! He always asks how my day was and tries his best to let me have my space, while also keeping a close eye on me. I couldn't ask for a better father. But still, I guess I wonder why I wasn't good enough for my mom to stick around. Maybe he'll remarry and I'll have a cool stepmom. My friends are always complaining about their moms and steps, but I wouldn't mind having another woman around.
I skimmed through the rest, my heart squeezing when she mentioned hearing rumors at school yesterday about her dad and some of the other moms. She seemed so optimistic that her dream to be a part of a whole family may soon come true.
I looked up and squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you for sharing this. Your dad is lucky to have you."
"I know you and my dad don’t get along. But really, he’s not that bad. I think he's just lonely. It's always been just me and him."
"It's not your responsibility to keep him from being lonely."
She nodded and took her notebook. "I know, but sometimes I think if he had a girlfriend, other people would stop thinking he's so cranky."
I laughed even though I shouldn't. "You can't control what others think or say. Why do you think other people think that?"
She arched her brow and cocked her hip. "I have ears. I can hear what other people are saying."
"You think he's grumpy, don't you?" Hailey pressed.
Ugh, this girl that I adore was putting me in a weird situation. I didn't want to lie but I couldn't exactly tell her the truth.
"Not really. He's always nice to me. We just disagree on things sometimes. Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you don’t like them. He and I are just different." I didn't like the direction this was heading. "Listen, I'm sure your dad is just a little misunderstood. People always judge the things they don't understand. They're like books. I'm sure there are books that you love and see no flaw in and someone else hates it and loves books you hate. Sometimes people are like that too and it's okay. We can't be everyone's cup of tea." I was mixing metaphors, feeling a little out of my depth.
Hailey shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."
"Now, run along, I'm sure your dad is waiting for you."
She nodded and headed out the door, pausing with one hand on the handle, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. "Maybe you can come over for dinner sometime. My dad's a great cook."
I laughed. "I'm sure he is. Maybe. Thanks for the offer."
"I'll talk to him. Bye."
"Bye, Hailey."
I sat down and sighed. Well, that was an interesting day.
I stayed in my classroom for another hour, reading through the rest of the classes’ journals before packing up my stuff. As I walked to my car the kiss of the sun on my face made me smile. It was the first day of May and finally felt like spring. I breathed in the sweet, heady scent of lilacs wafting off the thick white and purple plumes around the schoolyard. I had to fight the urge not to go pick myself some blossoms.
