Page 153 of Talk Swoony to Me


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“He’s right.”

He points at Drew. “Shut up, Drew. Flowers don’t talk.”

Drew bows his head, going silent again.

I exhale hard at Seth. “You want to work this out, then let’s work this out. Like adults. Not children.”

Seth scoffs. “You sit around sketching pictures of dicks all day and then call me the child? Come on, little sister.”

Jenna tilts her head, seeing his point.

“Seth, can we please just talk about this?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Go ahead. Talk.”

I look over my shoulder at the crowd, many of whom have gone silent since I showed up. I’d rather not air this dirty laundry in front of the entire Chicago North Greek system, but Seth seems determined to do exactly that.

“Okay, fine.” I step closer so I don’t have to shout. “Drew and I are together. We were going to tell you sooner, but we weren’t sure how you’d react.”

“I think you knew exactly how I’d react,” he says. “You just did it, anyway.”

“Because it wasn’t your decision.” I look at Drew. “It’s not like we planned this. When we first met, I didn’t know he was your roommate. He didn’t know who I was, either.”

“Yeah, yeah. He told me all about it. But it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter?”

“When he found out, he should have ended it. That’s what a man does. You’re not a guy, Heidi. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh, cut the bro code crap,” I say. “We’re human beings. We have thoughts and feelings, and sometimes, they don’t include you, Seth. And don’t you dare try to take the moral high ground. You want me to consider your feelings? You first.”

He glares at me. “So, you’ve been revenge fucking my best friend for months because I was mean to you in high school? Real mature.”

“No, it’s not like that. We didn’t even...” I lower my voice “We didn’t even go all the way until the night of the dance.”

“Oh, good! He didn’t ditch me that night to fuck a girl I liked. He ditched me to fuck my little sister instead. That’s so much better, Heidi! Thank you.”

Jenna tugs on my arm. “You know, at this point I feel like I have the legal responsibility to tell you to stop talking,” she says.

“Jenna! So good to see you, too!” Seth says. “How does it feel to find out your roommate was fucking him, too? Or did you two take turns?”

Jenna snorts. “Oh, please. Drew and I weren’t doing it. We only pretended to because you almost caught them doing it.”

Seth tilts his head in surprise. “Oh, really?!”

I glare at her. “Stop talking, huh?”

She winces. “Oops.”

I look at Drew. I silently plead with him to do something. To stand up and speak for us.

He does nothing.

“This is ridiculous,” I say around the lump in my throat. “I kept this from you as much as he did. You want to be mad at somebody, be mad at me.”

“Oh, I am,” Seth says. “I’m just not in the position to rub your nose in it like this.” He gestures at Drew. “The fact is that he screwed up. He corrupted my little sister and now he has to pay the price.”

“He didn’t corrupt me!”

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