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Dragging On
I sit on the bed, frozen in place. As I look at my surroundings, I try to make sense of everything that Alek just told me. The walls look slightly different than they had before. I turn around and around, everything in my head melting together. The white walls, the white pillow, even the white sheet. I lie down and stare at the ceiling, numb, unknowing, unblinking.
Am I blind to what’s been right beneath my nose this entire time? Has everything in the past few months been a lie? I’ve lost it. I’m crazy. Tyr is dead, I think, yet I feel like I can finally breathe. How have my parents felt? How could they lock me up and throw away the key if I'm actually where he said I am? How does Aimee feel about losing her best friend?
Where is she? What's wrong with me? Am I in shock? Am I dead? Who am I? Where am I? What have I become? How did my brain conjure up everything, yet I feel completely fine? Or do I? How did I end up here? What is even real anymore? What happened to me? How did I become this person? This thing. What the fuck is going on?
I close my eyes and drift in and out of consciousness.
I walk out of my hospital room into the hallway. People stand, hand in hand, at the other end of the floor. Every time I get close, they increase the distance between us and get further away. I scream, run, and hit my fists against the walls, begging for someone to turn around and face me. I sink to the floor, curling my knees into my chest, sobbing. Finally, someone turns around.
“Why are you crying, Nova?” Aimee stands next to me, pale, eyes sunken into her head. “Get up.”
“What is happening to me? Where am I? Where are you?”
Aimee smiles sincerely at first, and then it turns sinister. Her teeth become sharper, her eyes turn black, and the skin on her face decayed. “Get up! Wake up for him!”
I do what she says. Not because I’m waking up but because I want to get away from her. Get away from it.
I turn down a hallway, fighting to stay on my own two feet. The white walls turn into a brown sludge, dripping and melting down onto me. I screech, hands over my head. My body burns in pain. I eventually reach another corner and find a door with an exit sign. I push the handle, waiting for a fresh breath of air, gasping and strangled in fear. I’m met with piercing blue eyes. Tyr.
I smile in relief, my hands reaching to touch him, craving something normal.
“Tyr, I’m so happy to see y-”
His hands reach up and grab my throat.
“Wake up, Nova. Wake up or join me.”
I sit up as quickly as possible, clawing my throat, feeling invisible hands holding me tightly. Once I realize it was a nightmare, I’m able to breathe again. I suck in a few deep breaths before my eyes look around. I just need to talk to Alek. My entire life has been turned upside down too many times. I need him to point the way to the surface.
A Little Q&A
He is sitting at the desk and doesn't look up until I walk out of my door and stand in front of him, shrugging my shoulders. “Okay, I’m here, but I have a lot of questions.”
“That’s fine. First and foremost… I work here. My boss told me to keep an eye on you.” He gestures for me to have a seat. I sit down at his desk and face him. “So, if I was there or I heard about it, I’ll try to help you figure it out. What do you remember after you got off the island? Give me as much detail as you can.”
I give a shy, half-assed smile as I start spitting out the first things that come to mind. I nibble on my lip as I begin. “I remember talking to the detectives. They were questioning me about the island. They took me to their office and sat me down at a super messy desk with a bunch of folders and shit.”
“That wasn’t the detectives. They spoke to you when you were still in the hospital. The messy desk is Henry’s. He’s in the admitting department. He’s the one that transferred you here.” His fingers tap the desk beside us. His nails hit it consistently, like a metronome.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I can tell this is going to be a long conversation. My mind’s already spinning, but I need to hear every single thing that I can. Pulling my knees to my chest, I get as comfortable as possible.
“What else can you think of?”
“Well, I spent time with Aimee. We’d just watch movies and talk, but it was quite therapeutic. I went over to Tyr’s new house and spent the night. The next day, I introduced Tyr to my parents when we told them we were moving in together. We had this nice dinner, then a family meeting in the living room, packed up my room and left. I remember it took way less time than it should’ve. I unpacked the next day, and then we had sex in the bathtub.” I get quiet for a few seconds. “That was the first time that Tyr abused me.”
“So, for the first seventy-two hours, we don’t allow visitors. In those three days after you were admitted, you became friends with Marlene. You also became friends with Geoffrey, who is another nurse here. I saw you heading out to the greenhouse in the far corner of the lawn. That’s likely what you thought the house was. Geoffrey’s nice, or so I thought, but follows you around constantly. Almost like his job is to stay by your side.
“After the three days were up, your parents came to see you. I was working in the visitation room that day, and saw the whole thing. You introduced them to Geoffrey. You two were inseparable. He’s from Ohio, but he spoke in a British accent just for you because he knew Tyr had an accent. You got attached to him and kept calling him by Tyr’s name, so he asked for your file.
“You guys all had a meal together in the common room; then he helped you move into a more permanent room since your parents agreed that you needed to stay here longer. You were sharing a room with Marlene, but we got you somewhere by yourself. That’s why it didn’t take very long to move everything. As for the sex in the bathtub, you two got in big trouble for doing some shady things in the fountain in the courtyard."
Oh shit. I start to feel flushed and uncomfortable, so I chose to skip that conversation and go straight into the next. “What about whenever Aimee and I would go out? Like to dinner or to get drunk or something?”
“Well, there was one incident where you and Marlene stole one of the golf carts and drove around the parking lot like lunatics. Some of the nurses were chasing you guys for, like, ten minutes.” He chuckles to himself before continuing. “But I’m not sure about everything. There’s no alcohol allowed here, for obvious reasons. Your night meds make you loopy enough as it is. Maybe that’s what you perceived ‘being drunk’ to be.”
“But I distinctly remember driving up to a restaurant with valets and them helping us out.” My brain is hurting already.
