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“Trax, I’m done,” I call out when he doesn’t come back in.
“I’m here, pixie,” he returns, opening the door and walking over to me.
After washing my hands and splashing some cool water on my face, I dry both off as Trax holds me close to his body while I balance on one leg. The second I lay the towel back down on the counter, he lifts me up into his arms and takes me out to the wheelchair. He pushes me out to the living room where Jameson is pacing back and forth with his hands clenched tight in fists by his side. Whatever they have to talk to me about is angering both men and neither one of them know how to deal with it.
Trax pushes me to the middle of the living room, I wait for one of them to talk and tell me what’s going on. Jameson continues to pace as Trax leans up against the wall to my side and doesn’t say a word. They’re only gonna get a minute from me before I demand answers from them.
“Okay, guys. What the fuck is goin’ on?” I finally ask, my voice nothing more than a growl as I wait for them to speak.
“I don’t even know how to tell you this shit, pixie,” Trax speaks up, but doesn’t move from the wall.
To anyone else, he’d appear relaxed and as if we were about to discuss the weather. I see how tightly coiled he is. His entire body is rigid and he doesn’t look relaxed at all. Even his face is still scrunched up and red. There’s a vein in his neck sticking out as it pulses with the blood racing through him. It doesn’t take me long to take all of this shit in. Jameson isn’t any better. I know my twin almost better than anyone else. He’s ready to fucking explode and if that happens, no one will be safe from him. Well, no man will be safe from him. My brother would never lay his hands on a woman for any reason when he’s angry.
“Peter isn’t gonna face any jail time, pixie. The charges against him have been dropped and he’s already been released. He got released three days ago and we’re just hearin’ about it. Peter’s back at school and he’s already been to your dorm room lookin’ for you. No one let him in though. I guess the school has met with him and told him to stay away from you. He’s not listenin’ to anyone when it comes to you,” Trax states, his voice barely above a whisper as his rage consumes him.
“What?” I ask, fear filling me as I look between Trax and my brother.
My breathing picks up and my heart feels as if it’s pounding out of my chest. I can’t seem to suck in a full breath of air. Black spots start to fill my vision as my entire body shakes uncontrollably. Trax and Jameson are immediately in front of me as I try to figure out what to do.
“Take a deep breath in, pixie. Breathe with me,” Trax says, placing my hand on his chest so I can feel his strong, steady heartbeat. “That’s it, pixie. You’re doin’ such a good job. Keep breathin’ with me.”
I try to focus on breathing with Trax as Jameson rubs my back. I don’t even remember leaning forward in the wheelchair. All concept of time is lost to me as I keep my full attention on Trax. He helps me breathe through the panic filling me as the black spots start to recede and my vision clears. This is not the first time I’ve had a panic attack. However, it is the first time it’s been this bad. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go back to school knowing Peter is walking freely around the campus and that he’s already been to the building where my dorm room is. He’s going to be gunning for me and that’s not a secret to anyone. I’m the reason he was arrested to begin with and there’s no reason for him not to come after me. It’s clear he doesn’t respect authority and that his parents have some kind of pull with the police in Iron Head.
“What does this mean?” I ask when I can finally breathe again.
“It means you have some decisions to make, sis. Are you gonna go back to school for your education? Somethin’ you’ve wanted for so long. Or are you gonna see if there’s another school you can transfer to? Maybe take your classes online or somethin’?” Jameson questions me, his voice gentle as he crouches down in front of me and looks at me.
“I don’t know what I want to do. The only thing I know is I don’t ever want to see him again. He’s such a fucking asshole and if he ever gets close to me, I’m gonna beat his fucking ass,” I growl out, anger filling me in place of the fear and panic.
“You’re not gonna touch that fuckin’ prick, pixie. He’s already put you in the hospital once and you still aren’t healed from what he did to you. The stupid fuck destroyed all of your possessions and there’s nothin’ left of the dorm room. Even your mattress was ripped to shreds. The Prospects have been there and boxed up anythin’ they could salvage, but most everythin’ had to be thrown away,” Trax informs me gently as he presses a hand against the side of my face and holds me.
“I know. It’s because of him that I have to go back on my medicine and that I can’t drive for the foreseeable future. It’s gonna take a long time before I can even think about driving again. I was just getting out from under everyone and now I’m dependent on all of you again,” I say, tears filling my eyes as I think of what Peter truly fucking cost me because he’s a selfish prick. “I’d like to go back and lay down for a while. I need to be alone and think things through.”
“Alright, pixie. I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’ll be right out here if you need me for anythin’,” Trax assures me as he pushes me into the bedroom before leaving me alone.
Trax helps me back in bed before putting the pillows back under my knee and lower leg and covering me up. With a soft kiss on my forehead, I close my eyes and listen as Trax leaves the room and closes the door most of the way. He won’t ever close it completely when I’m in here so he can hear me if I need him. Keeping my eyes closed, I try to hold back the tears. It doesn’t take long before I lose the battle and they slip beneath my closed lids.
Despair holds me tight as I realize how much one day took from me. If I didn’t have the cyst on my brain, I’d still have been injured and more than likely sent to the hospital. However, now, I’m going to have to start enduring all the testing and everything else all over again. I already have to take the medicine to help prevent seizures from happening. Peter took away my independence that I’ve fought so hard to gain over the years. While I don’t want him to take my education from me, I have a feeling that I’m not going to be able to return to school unless I only take my classes online.
No! I’m not going to let Peter take everything from me. I’m going to return to school and live my life. The guys will figure out a way to keep me protected while I’m on campus. I might not live in the dorms going forward, but I will be on campus when I have classes for the day. Peter can keep his distance from me and leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want anything to do with him and I hope when I do see him that I don’t have another panic attack because he’ll see that as him beating me and winning whatever game he’s playing.
I know I won’t be able to return to campus immediately, but it will happen. The second the doctors clear me, I’ll be showing up and treating Peter like the piece of shit he is. I won’t hide what he did to me. Everyone will know how violent he is. The guy is fucking crazy and he needs to be stopped. If his parents are gonna buy everyone to keep him free, then they need to be taken down along with their son. Before I go back to school, I’ll also have Trax and Jameson take me to a gun range so I can practice shooting again. I’ve got my permit to carry a gun and have had it for a long time. My dads made sure I got it when I turned eighteen. It’s one of the few things I could do like everyone else I grew up with. We researched it extensively before doing anything about it.
Sleep finally manages to claim me as I toss and turn. I don’t manage to get any rest even though I’m asleep. It’s been a long time since this has happened to me and just one more reason to fucking hate Peter.
Waking up, the sun filters in through the curtains that have been left partially open. It hits me directly in the face as I squeeze my eyes closed. A heavy arm rests over my stomach. Opening my eyes after turning my head to the side, I see Trax laying next to me. He’s not asleep as he looks at me with a soft smile.
“You were havin’ a nightmare, pixie. I didn’t wanna wake you up from it. Savage is out in the livin’ room. Are you okay?” he asks, his voice full of concern as he continues to stare at me.
Lifting my good hand, I place my hand on his stubble-covered cheek. He closes his eyes for a second as a look of peace fills his face. I don’t say anything right away as we stare at one another.
“I’m not gonna let this fucker win, Trax. Peter isn’t gonna control my life and dictate what I do. He’s taken way too much from me already and changed my life in ways he doesn’t even understand. The last thing I’m gonna let him do is make it so I can’t go back to school. I won’t live in the dorms there because I don’t think I’d be able to handle that shit. However, I will attend classes there when I have them,” I finally tell him, my voice barely above a whisper as I continue looking at him.
“Okay, pixie. I know this means a lot to you and it’s somethin’ you feel you need to do. I’m not gonna stand in your way unless he gets close enough to put his fuckin’ hands on you again. However, I will be talkin’ to Reaper because you’re gonna need help gettin’ back and forth to campus. I’ll also want the Prospects with you on campus for safety,” he tells me, his voice equally as soft and quiet.
“Thank you, Trax. You don’t know what that means to me,” I respond, sliding my head down to his neck.
“You’re welcome, pixie. I want to be the man at your side and make sure you’re protected at all times. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna make you dependent on me or dictate what you can and can’t do. You wanna be independent and I’ll make sure that’s what you are. As long as you let me protect you at the same time,” he concedes while smiling at me.
