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Me
I think he thinks that I have a crush on him, and he kind of told me that it wasn’t gonna happen…
So much for not telling her the whole story.
Tara
Well if he’s a biker, babe, it’s probably for the best
Me
Yeah. He probably has women throwing themselves at him with their fake tits. You should see this guy, T. But that’s no excuse to make me feel dumb
Of course, in Rock’s eyes, he probably thinks I’m just being a spoiled brat. Because girls like me, they couldn’t possibly have feelings, right?
Even if I am acting a little childish, his comment came out of the blue. And I don’t like to be caught off guard. The trouble with me is I never learn. I give out way too much information, and then it gets used against me.
No wonder so many people have hurt me in the past. Is that my fault for being so naive? I know the answer to that.
Tara always tells me it’s because I’m too trusting. That not everybody is a good person, which I get. I’m not a total dummy. But I’m also not the kind of person who walks around on eggshells, saying one thing, and doing another. It’s so pointless.
Tara
Pretty boys are the worst. Forget him. You’ll be home soon
Me
ugh, you’ve no idea
Tara
I wish I was there
Me
I wish you were here too. It would be so much more bearable. Maybe I’ll work on my dad, and convince him to let you come down here
Tara
That would be amazing, babe. Think of all the fun we could have.
I always have a good time with Tara. Even if she is a little bossy at times and doesn’t like me doing certain things. I know it’s only to protect me. She’s quiet and reserved, but we somehow get along just fine. She also hated Dylan with a passion. In fact, I’d go as far to say that she despised him. When we broke up, she was the first one to tell me “I told you so.” It wasn’t like she was meaning to be cruel, it was more like, why didn’t you listen to me?
Thanks to Dylan, I’ll certainly be a lot more vigilant in the future.
I turn the taps off once the water is high, inhaling the mesmerizing scent from the bubbles.
Once I strip off my clothes, I test the water with my foot. Leaning over to the taps, I add a little more cold water before sinking in.
It’s been a long day. I set the jets on low and slide down deep into the water. This is what I’ve been looking forward to all day.
The jets soothe my aching muscles, and it’s one of the few ways that I like to relax.
I don’t drink very much. Which I’m glad about. Ever since my dad told me that my mom had alcohol problems, I never wanted to upset him by having alcohol in the house. I know my mom battled with mental health, and I have some serious abandonment issues with that. Maybe that’s why my dad overcompensates?
All of these feelings and emotions rush to the forefront of my mind whenever I’m upset or angry. It’s like I just need to punish myself even more, so I can truly feel.
Maybe Rock’s rejection hit a nerve deep inside me. This really has nothing to do with him. I don’t even know the guy. But just the idea that someone like him would think I was attractive made me feel good for half a second.
