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When he starts experimenting with sucking and curling his tongue around my length, I make a fist in his hair and draw his eyes to mine.
“Touch yourself. No coming until I do. Understand?”
He rubs his hands over his bare legs, spreads them a little wider where he kneels, and drags his fingers over his engorged dick.
The moans spur me on and loosen him up at the same time. The first time he gags, he draws off a sputtering mess, and I catch him pushing a finger inside himself. He winces and scrunches up his face, but then he looks at my cock again, grunts, and dives back in like a man on a mission.
Stubborn as all hell and just as hot.
We repeat that process until my balls pull up tight, and I know one look in those dark, wet eyes will be the end of this. If I was a crueler man, I’d drag this out. Make him wait until his jaw and knees are too sore to continue, and then have my release while I continue to deny him his.
But I made him a promise, and it’s too early for me to be breaking those now.
A tug on his hair is enough to get his attention, and the tear tracks on his face are just too much for my self control.
“Take a breath. Don’t panic. As soon as you feel me in your throat, fuck yourself with your fingers and rub that pretty, little dick raw. Come with me inside you or don’t come at all.”
The last word is barely out before I feel the first pulse. I grip his head harder and slide all the way into his sweet, wrecked mouth. Panic seizes him, fingers digging into my thighs, but then my cum starts pumping like a geyser into his throat.
I nearly close my eyes to get lost in the pleasure, but instead I look down and watch him being such a good fucking slut doing exactly as I asked.
It’s perfect fucking bliss seeing the moment the orgasm overtakes him. His closed eyes flutter open, shoot to mine, and roll back in quick succession. As my cock spurts the last few drops of cum into his mouth, I hold him steady and full until his orgasm subsides.
That first gasp when I pull out is wet and ragged, but it’s the second one that sets alarm bells off.
They’re quick, sharp, not large gulps of air like they should be. I drop down in front of him and grab his face in both of my hands. There’s red splotches all over his cheeks and neck, dried tears and fresh ones pooling at his lashes.
I don’t need to ask what’s wrong because I know that look.
I’ve seen the haunted emptiness in his eyes more times than I care to admit.
“Breathe for me, Shiloh. You’re safe. I’m not hurting you. I’d never hurt.”
It doesn’t matter that he’s half naked and I haven’t put my dick away. I plop my ass on the ground and pull him into my lap without question.
His breathing is still coming too fast. There’s no recognition of the sound of my voice. Just shaking shoulders and breathless pants.
I cage his body with my arms and hold him to my chest, and when the panic attack doesn’t worsen, I cup a hand over his cheek and press his face to my shoulder.
It’s a tense, quiet couple of minutes. I stroke my hand through his hair and wrangle his underwear and jeans as far up his legs as I can manage one handed in this positon.
When that first long puff of air hits my collarbone, I let out a long sigh of relief and loosen my hold as not to spook him.
“You with me, sweetheart?”
An audible swallow. Another long breath.
“Don’t call me that.” His voice is low and rough but insistent.
There’s no dramatic turn away. Just Shiloh pushing against my chest and rising to his feet. Yanking his pants up the rest of the way and wiping his face with the bottom of his shirt.
I tuck myself back in my pants and stand.
He isn’t saying anything. His arms are wrapped around himself, and he’s got a long line furrowing his brow. He’s worrying his chronically torn lip between his teeth and keeping his eyes anywhere but on me.
“Shiloh.” I step forward, not offering touch but my presence, and he steps back in response.
“Don’t.” He takes a harsh breath in through his nose and finally raises his gaze to mine. “You aren’t my friend. I let you have my body. You use me. You give me what I need. That’s all we are to each other. Do you understand?”
