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Everyone I know has a plan. A passion. Everyone except for me.
“My goal for the last three years has been to stay alive. To move forward one manic episode at a time. I don’t want anything. I don’t love anything. I choose something to obsess over, and that becomes my finish line. When I get there…” I shake my head and close my eyes.
“The depression hits, and I start all over again.”
Strong hands press into my shoulder blades, drawing me into Corvin’s chest. I tuck my head under his chin and listen to the steady sound of his heartbeat.
“Do you know what I think, sweetheart?”
I shake my head.
“You have more passion in you than anyone I’ve ever met. You love hard. Too hard for some, maybe. You want so much that it overwhelms you. What you need is a little gentle guidance.”
I snort and run my nose up the column of his neck. “Your guidance, perhaps?”
He hugs me tighter. “If you want it, I’ll always give it to you.”
A smile breaks through my melancholy. “And if I don’t want it?”
He doesn’t respond right away, so I push up to look at his face. “Corvin?”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen true, genuine sadness on Corvin’s face before. Disappointment perhaps, but not this ocean deep sadness that’s there now.
He raises a hand to the side of my neck and rubs his thumb along my jaw.
“I’m a fool for ever thinking I could stop myself from falling in love with you.”
My chest aches and cracks open. I shake my head. “Not tonight.”
A bitter smile spreads across his lips. “I think we both know it has to be tonight. Because when I fuck you, there will be no turning back for me.”
There isn’t a muscle in my body strong enough to push away my need for him. Even knowing that his words mean I should cut this off now, save him from going down the same spiral I went through with Atlas, I can’t do it.
I need him.
I want him.
But I can’t let myself have him the way that he wants.
“You’ll still fuck me, won’t you?” I ask on a shaky exhale.
He drags me down until our mouths collide in a rough battle for dominance. The kiss holds strong until his fingers tighten in my hair and yank me away.
“I’ve wanted this for too long to let some pesky feelings stop me. Remember your safewords, Shiloh, because without them…”
He spouts a sexy, dirty grin and presses it to my neck. His teeth dig into my skin, leaving a trail of bites down my throat that have pleasure shooting through my veins. The chuckle he breathes into my ear is dark, hoarse, and dripping with arousal.
“I’m going to ruin you, sweetheart.”
Chapter 23
Shiloh
(This chapter contains a pre-negotiated scene of consensual non-consent simulating assault. Please proceed with caution)
The chilly night air nips at my exposed skin. A tank top does nothing to fend off the breeze, and my hoodie is stashed in the back of the car.
Which is locked. Leaving me cold and stranded with a cell service at a solid zero bars.
