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“I’m a walking burden,” he spits out. “A double edged sword. Everything hurts, and I’m so tired of it.”
My heart aches for him, burns for the raw self-loathing in his voice.
He doesn’t need any more pain.
He doesn’t need cruelty.
He needs me, in this moment, to love him exactly the way I want to. Even if he’d never admit it.
“I love you,” I breathe the words in his ear like a promise.
His hands rise to the back of my neck, brushing his nose to the shell of my ear.
“Say it again.”
I turn and kiss the edge of his jaw, where he has the slightest bit of peach fuzz growing.
“I am deeply, catastrophically, insurmountably in love with you. If you’re afraid of being alone, don’t be. As long as you’ll let me, I’ll be your home. Your grounding point. Even if you never love me back. If you let me in, I’ll keep you safe.”
I would say it a million times. As many times as he needs to understand this isn’t a fling or a fun pastime.
With that first kiss three years ago, with finding him passed out and naked on some stranger’s bed, I knew he would be my endgame.
Even if I would never be his.
Chapter 26
Shiloh
Memphis at the end of December isn’t the winter wonderland of my dreams. It was flurrying when we left campus, but nearly six hours later it’s almost sixty degrees with no signs of snow in sight.
It’s a quaint house, with a big fenced in yard that has a tree house in the back, and I can’t believe this is where Corvin dragged me to for the next two weeks.
It wasn’t even planned—at least not on my part. I was getting settled into my brother’s apartment, boxes stashed away until the end of break, when Corvin showed up, made himself comfortable enough to pack a bag of my stuff, and ushered me into the car without an explanation.
I could have stopped him, but the way he held my hand over the center console had me wanting a few more minutes over and over until all the time had passed.
Now here we are, at the house of a foster family who used to take him in for the holidays. A family with a houseful of foster kids.
“Have I ever mentioned I’m really not great with kids?”
Corvin smiles and reaches across the seat to pull me to him, and I give in easily as he connects our lips.
These last few weeks have been sweet. So fucking sweet it’s like I’m living in a Katy Perry music video.
“You’ll be fine. Your only job is to relax. Big Brother Corvin will take care of all the rascals.” He punctuates his sentence with another kiss, lowering his voice when he says, “and tonight he’ll take care of you.”
That’s a promise I intend to make sure he keeps.
We climb out of the car and are met by a couple likely in their late forties walking down a front porch you’d see in Lifetime movies.
“The girls are excited to see you,” the woman says as she pulls Corvin into a hug.
“Aren’t they always?” Corvin laughs and accepts a clap on the back from the husband. “Mr. and Mrs. Grenshaw, this is my friend, Shiloh.”
I shake the hand that’s offered to me and give up a friendly smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for having me.”
Never say living in the south didn’t instill manners in me.
