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“Was?” he asked, his voice just as quiet. He picked up on little things like that so damn easily. The boy was incredibly smart, and he paid more attention than most people gave him credit for.
I nodded, my fingers absentmindedly moving up and down his spine. “Was,” I confirmed. “He died during my last deployment.” I swallowed thickly, pain slicing through me even deeper. I hadn’t spoken about this out loud in years. Not since therapy. “His death was the reason I was discharged. The PTSD was too much; I was a risk. The military docs deemed me too unstable to continue my contract. I was let go with an honorable discharge.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel told me quietly, his arm tightening around me. “I’m sorry you lost someone so close to you.” He pressed a kiss to my chest, and I shivered, my arms tightening around him, emotion thickening my throat. I swallowed down the tears threatening to choke me. “How did he die?”
I drew in a shaky breath and slowly released it, wishing I could expel the pain in my chest just as easily. It hurt to fucking breathe. “An IED,” I quietly told him. Gabriel made a pained noise in the back of his throat. “I knocked us to the ground to avoid getting hit with bullets. It was goddamn mayhem. He yanked me back up so we weren’t just sitting ducks because I’d gotten hit in my arm and I could barely think past the pain.” I pressed my fingers into Gabriel’s back, anchoring him to me, my grip tight enough that it had to hurt. But of course, Gabriel didn’t seem to care. He just pressed closer. “He stepped sideways, readying his weapon, and stepped right fucking on it. There wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do to save him. It happened too fucking fast.”
Gabriel pushed up on his elbow, and when I looked down to see what he was doing, he surprised the absolute fuck out of me when he pressed a kiss to the corner of my lips. My cock thickened, my heart skipped half a dozen beats, and tingles rushed through every part of my body. My mind blanked of everything Donald. The pain in my chest ceased to exist. All I could focus on was this boy of mine.
Who had just kissed my fucking lips.
Fucking. Hell.
“I’ll make sure you never lose me,” Gabriel quietly promised, snuggling back into my arms as if he hadn’t just rocked my entire fucking world with a mere, barely-even-there kiss to the corner of my lips. A kiss that I could still feel lingering on my skin. A kiss I knew I would feel for years to come.
I squeezed him to me, a breath shuddering from my lungs. “I’m going to make sure I never lose you, too,” I rasped, my voice heavy with everything I could barely contain. My pain. My torment. My memories.
My love for him. So much fucking love for him.
I was so fucked.
14
Tango
Iwas too wired to go back to sleep, even with Gabriel curled up in my arms, his slow breaths softly fanning over the bare skin of my chest. I couldn’t get that fucking small touch of his lips against mine out of my head. I’d been hard for hours now just thinking about it.
Because now that I’d had a taste, I wanted more. So much more.
I wanted it all. I wanted all of Gabriel. Selfishly. Wholly. Completely.
When the digital clock on the nightstand read out six A.M., I carefully extracted myself from his arms and slid out of bed, padding barefoot across the cold, hardwood floor to the fireplace. I added more logs to the embers, got a flame going, and closed the grate back. Gabriel still continued to lightly snore behind me, assuring me he hadn’t woken up.
I took a few silent moments to admire the way the flames cast an orange glow over my boy’s face. When I got back home, I was definitely remodeling my living room and the bedroom in my mobile home to include fireplaces. Because I wanted to see the flames glowing over his features just as they were now. He looked like he belonged in a fairy tale. The prince charming.
My prince charming.
Christ, I was so gone over him.
I made my way into the bathroom, and after shutting the door, I flipped on the light. I needed a shower. Should probably take a cold one, but fuck, I really needed to rub one out. My balls were hurting with the need to cum. And as much as I wanted to coax Gabriel awake with my lips and slide inside of him, I couldn’t. He was off-limits.
I had to keep reminding myself of that because the temptation was almost too damn good to resist.
As soon as I was beneath the spray of water, I fisted my cock, swallowing a groan. Only one person was on my mind as I slid my slick fist over my shaft, my grip tightening, and that was the boy currently asleep in our bed with no fucking clue of how badly I ached for him. How desperately I wanted him wrapped around me.
What had probably been a chaste, friendly kiss to him had been so much damn more to me, and fuck, it was taking every bit of restraint I had to not go into that bedroom, roll him to his back, and show him what happened when a man truly gave a fuck about him.
I’d wreck his world all while fucking him so goddamn good, he just begged for more and more—to the point he was constantly starving for me and what I could make him feel.
My breathing quickened, my hand moving faster. I braced one hand against the tiled shower wall, and with my chest heaving, I spurted my cum into my fist, my head hanging forward.
Gabriel was going to be the fucking death of me. But goddammit, it was worth it. Every bit of agony. Every bit of temptation. Every moment of being madly in love with the sweet boy. It was all. Fucking. Worth it.
I swung the ax over my shoulder before smacking it down into the piece of wood in front of me, splitting it clean down the middle. Jacking off in the shower had done me good for all of five minutes. By the time I was dressed and getting coffee going, my dick was raring to go all over again.
I was beyond annoyed with myself. At this rate, I was going to end up reverting to the body of a fucking thirteen-year-old because I was getting hard over something so fucking simple.
He’d kissed me. It hadn’t even been a full fucking kiss. He’d literally pecked the corner of my damn lips.
